Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that having a set retirement age for every body, regardless of occupation, is unfair. Believe that certain workers observe to retire and receive pension in early age. Do you agree and disagree? Which type of worker do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Some people think that having a set retirement age for every body, regardless of occupation, is unfair. Believe that certain workers observe to retire and receive pension in early age. Do you agree and disagree? Which type of worker do you think should benefit from early retirement? RoMp
For the fulfillment of basic needs imperative to have a secure job, but sometimes situation does not go as according to persons Desire health issues become cause to leave job in this pension schemes play imperative role some think that retirement age should be depend on individuals. Not only get retire if they cross certain years, so I have bipolar attitude towards this notion and writing some viewpoints in impending paragraph. On the one hand, the first and foremost point is, various time has been observed that those families rely on one member for livelihood for them 65 year of age is perfect sense if he or she leave their job, that arise problems for the rest. source of income will be vanish probably they even cannot afford food. secondly, working person have higher chances to become fit as compared to free one because their mind always strive to learn something new which is assist to enhance the brain's performance as well as keep their body fit and fine, by walking and talking with office colleagues also minimize stress level. On the other hand early retirement best for those who go through health problems such as suffering from severe disease cancer and all in that case worker cannot able to work against their body especially in labor where heavy lifting necessary. last but not least, physically challenged require retirement in very first age if their conditions getting worse day by day in that condition mental power also disturb. so, it is good to spend time with loved ones which helps to be healthy. To conclude, matter of the fact is that these crucial decisions should be taken by person those who face that challenges if they think that retirement in early age or old is that their decision No one have right to interfere in it.
For the fulfillment of basic needs imperative to have a secure job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
situation does not go as according to persons Desire health issues become cause to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
job in this pension schemes play imperative role
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
should be
Consider using the past participle "depended"?
depend
on individuals. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
retire if they cross certain years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I have bipolar attitude towards this notion and writing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viewpoints in impending paragraph.

On the one hand, the
first
and foremost point is, various time has
been observed
that those families rely on one member for livelihood for them 65 year of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is perfect sense if he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "leaves", "leaved", "left".
leave
their job, that arise problems for the rest.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
source
of income will be
Consider using the past participle "vanished"?
vanish
probably
they even cannot afford food.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, working person have higher chances to become fit as compared to free one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their mind always strive to learn something new which is assist to enhance the brain's performance
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their body fit and fine, by walking and talking with office colleagues
also
minimize
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level.

On the other hand
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
best for those who go through health problems such as suffering from severe disease cancer and all
in that case
worker
Did you mean "cannot be able"?
cannot able
to work against their body
especially
in labor where heavy lifting necessary.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
physically
challenged require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
if their conditions getting worse day by day in that condition mental power
also
disturb.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to spend time with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to be healthy.

To conclude
, matter of the fact is that these crucial decisions should
be taken
by person those who face that challenges if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
in early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
is that their decision No one have right to interfere in it.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that having a set retirement age for every body, regardless of occupation, is unfair. Believe that certain workers observe to retire and receive pension in early age. Do you agree and disagree? Which type of worker do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that having a set retirement age for every body, regardless of occupation, is unfair. Believe that certain workers observe to retire and receive pension in early age. Do you agree and disagree? Which type of worker do you think should benefit from early retirement?