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Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? mklK
Children are like a clay; they are very much ready to adopt new things. parents and teacher are the influencer for each child, they develop social and intellectual understanding among children. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement that children are more influenced by their teacher as compared to their parents in terms of their intellectual and social development. Once children start school, they encounter many new things. They meet new people, make friends, play and exercise various activities. Each day of school they learn new things. Teachers play a vital role in making each child's future, as they teach them various basic and fundamental values. While being in school teacher mainly focus on the accademic curiculam, which is very important for each child. But as an overall school environment children develop a good level of intellectual and social sense. As they meet new people and share new ideas and get more socialize. Children spend more time with their parents as compared to teacher, do these mean parents have more control on their child intellectual and social development? Not even parents have more control on child's intellectual and social development. Children encounter school life, home environment as well as time spend with their friends from where they develop sense of social life which enhance their intellectual power day by day. Parents do influence the intellectual and social development of their child, as every child learn and adopt things by people he is surrounded by. According to me, teacher and parents both play their own part in the development of children intellectual and social sense. So, I disagree with the above given statement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are like a clay; they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much ready to adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
parents
and
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teacher
are the influencer for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, they develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intellectual
understanding among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more influenced by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
as compared to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in terms of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intellectual
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
development.

Once
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
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school
, they encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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new
things. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
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new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends, play and exercise various activities. Each day of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
play a vital role in making each child's future, as they teach them various basic and fundamental values. While being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
mainly
focus on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
accademic
Possible spelling mistake found.
curiculam
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for each
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child
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as an
overall
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school
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intellectual
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sense. As they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
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new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and share
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new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more socialize.

Children spend more time with their
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parents
as compared to
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teacher
, do these mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have more control on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intellectual
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
? Not even
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parents
have more control on child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intellectual
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life, home environment
as well
as time spend with their friends from where they develop sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life which enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intellectual
power day by day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
do influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intellectual
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, as every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
learn and adopt things by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
he
is surrounded
by.

This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
both play their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
part in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intellectual
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sense.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I disagree with the above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.
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IELTS essay Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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