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Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Retirement age is an age when every working individual takes break from work and gets paid for the services they have done for their company. Some sociologists believe that having a fixed retirement age for everybody irrespective of their occupation is unfair, and certain workers should allowed to take early retirement. I completely agree with this argument and I will indicate my view with examples. To begin with, people tend to become weak as they grow older. Different occupations demand different kinds of skills. Certain workers need physical strength to perform their duties. This physical strength and stamina reduces with age. While other occupations like office work demands less physical energy. Hence, workers whose work demands more physical energy need to be given an early retirement. This can be illustrated by the workers in coal mine whose work demands strength and stamina which deteriorates as they grow older. However, workers sitting in a library do not need to have much physical strength. Additionally, people who have served a lot for a company for a longer duration could be given early retirement. Certain workers who have dedicated most of their life working for a company should be allowed to reap the benefits of retirement at an early age. For instance, my father started working for a company in India at the age of 20. He was allowed to take early retirement by considering the tenure of his work in the company. In conclusion, having a common retirement age for all kinds of workers is unfair. Workers whose work demands more physical energy and workers who have served their company for a longer duration should be allowed to take early retirement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
when every working individual takes break from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
paid for the services they have done for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
sociologists believe that having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for everybody irrespective of their occupation is unfair, and certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
should
Did you mean “be allowed”?
allowed
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument and I will indicate my view with examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to become weak as they grow older.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
occupations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength to perform their duties. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength and stamina
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. While other occupations like office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
energy.
Hence
,
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workers
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
energy need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
. This can
be illustrated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in coal mine whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
strength and stamina which deteriorates as they grow older.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
sitting in a library do not need to have much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength.

Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have served a lot for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for a longer duration could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
who have dedicated most of their life working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to reap the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
For instance
, my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in India at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 20. He was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
by considering the tenure of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In conclusion
, having a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
is unfair.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Workers
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
energy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
who have served their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for a longer duration should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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