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some people think that government should take care of diet of all individuals of country , others think that people should themselves take care of diet and health, discuss both views and give your opinion

some people think that government should take care of diet of all individuals of country, others think that people should themselves take care of diet and health, discuss both views and give your opinion PVRwJ
People have differing views regarding health care. According to some, it is sole responsibility of people themselves, however, others disagree and opine that government should do some efforts toward it. In my opinion, government as well as individuals have role to play Some opine that government should make sure that all the individuals of nation are disease free. If dwellers of nation are fit and healthy then eventually nation would be more prosperous; therefore, govenment being the governing body should ensure the good health of its citizens. People also hold this opinion owing to the fact that they pay tax. Also, good health hold utmost significance in people's life as without it a person cannot cherish other facilities provided by government. This is a reason that they want their tax to be allocated in highly imperative sector, which is health sector To some it may feel counterintuitive, and they contend that some of the health problems such as drug addiction are created by individuals themself. So, there is no viable reason to utilize funds on such people. Even if govenment provide them aid, it is highly probable that they may again involve in health detriorating addictions. On the top of this, it is not feasible for government to take care of diet of all citizens. Even though, govenment may aware them about healthy eating, but it is individuals themelves who have to incorporate healthy items in their diet. In my opinion, workable approach is the cumilative efforts of both government and individuals. govenment should ensure the quality of food which is being distributed to retailers throughout the country by various companies. In addition to it, government sponsered awareness campaign about healthy eating habbits could assist people in embracing balanced diet. Apart from this, people may themselves make efforts to reduce the intake of junk and toxic food items and follow healthy diet plan. In conclusion, it seems that to make individuals healthy, determined efforts by both people and government are required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have differing views regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, it is sole responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves,
however
, others disagree and opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
toward it. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have role to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
play


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
of nation are disease free. If dwellers of nation
are fit
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
then
eventually
nation would be more prosperous;
therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
govenment
being the governing body should ensure the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of its citizens.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
hold this opinion owing to the fact that they pay tax.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
hold utmost significance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life as without it a person cannot cherish other facilities provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. This is a reason that they want their tax to
be allocated
in
highly
imperative sector, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sector


To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
it may feel counterintuitive, and they contend that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems such as drug addiction
are created
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is no viable reason to utilize funds on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Even if
Possible spelling mistake found.
govenment
provide them aid, it is
highly
probable that they may again involve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake found.
detriorating
addictions. On the top of this, it is not feasible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take care of diet of all citizens.
Even though
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
govenment
may aware them about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
Possible spelling mistake found.
themelves
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
incorporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
items in their diet.

In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
approach is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
cumilative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
govenment
should ensure the quality of food which is
being distributed
to retailers throughout the country by various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
In addition
to it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
sponsered
awareness campaign about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating
Possible spelling mistake found.
habbits
could assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in embracing balanced diet. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the intake of junk and toxic food items and follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet plan.

In conclusion
, it seems that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, determined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are required
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IELTS essay some people think that government should take care of diet of all individuals of country, others think that people should themselves take care of diet and health, discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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