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Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports.others believe that people have their choices to sports acitvities discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports. others believe that people have their choices to sports acitvities aQDnG
It is often argued by some individuals that dangerous sport should be ban by authorities while other think that masses should have freedom to choose their own interested sports games. This essay will articulate both views of this argument and as far as I am in favor of latter notion. With regard to those who are in favor of the former view they do so due to the fact that they believe that sometimes dangerous sports activities can harm the human beings. There are numerous harmful sports such as wrestling, boxing etcetera. If people try these sports activities, they will get serious injury. Moreover while playing these sports, they can get fracture on their shoulders, legs. For instance, a study carried out showed that when masses try dangerous sports, they can get Physical disable which effect their future. Therefore, government should ban dangerous sports activities. However, when it comes to those who consider that they have freedom to choose their sports, they have their own reason. Out of all, the most prominent reason put forward by them is that if they do hard sports activities, they will make their successful career in the dangerous sports. For illustration, research conducted recently indicated that when individuals try dangerous sports and then win many medals in that sports, they encourage other masses to try harmful sports activities and make a record to become role model of people. In conclusion, I would say that individuals should try dangerous sports activities owning to the fact that if they do these activities, they will develop enthusiasm, self confidence and easily face difficulties in their life
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
should be
Did you mean "banned"?
ban
by authorities while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that masses should have freedom to choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
games. This essay will articulate both views of this argument and as far as I am in favor of latter notion.

With regard to those who are in favor of the former view they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
due to the fact that they believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can harm the human beings. There are numerous harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as wrestling, boxing etcetera. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
serious injury.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
while playing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fracture on their shoulders, legs.
For instance
, a study carried out
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that when masses try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Physical disable which effect their future.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities.

However
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to those who consider that they have freedom to choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reason. Out of all, the most prominent reason put forward by them is that if they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "sport"?
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their successful career in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. For illustration, research conducted recently indicated that when individuals try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and then win
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medals in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they encourage other masses to try harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a record to become role model of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I would say that individuals should try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
owning to the fact that if they do these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they will develop enthusiasm,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
and
easily
face difficulties in their life
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IELTS essay Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports. others believe that people have their choices to sports acitvities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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