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To what extent do you think governments should be held responsible when problems of homelessness and unemployment arise?

To what extent do you think governments should be held responsible when problems of homelessness and unemployment arise? Q30L
Lack of homes and jobs are problems that plague many countries around the world. Some people argue that the government is responsible for such problems. I agree with this view to a great extent. In democratic countries, the government is responsible for ensuring the well-being of their people. People elect their representatives hoping that they will take care of their needs. Since homes and jobs are among the basic needs of the people, the government is certainly responsible for that. An efficient administration can do a lot of things to create enough jobs for all the people. For example, it can provide education to improve the employability of people. It can offer loans to help them build their own businesses. It can also run many enterprises on its own and employ people. If we take a look at the most developed countries in the world, we can see that there are very few jobless and homeless people there. That means if the administration is efficient it is possible to create enough jobs for people. Once jobs are created, the problem of homelessness will resolve on its own. Employed people can earn enough to build a home for themselves and their families. Even so, I do not believe that the government is the only body responsible for the growth and development of a country. The people are equally responsible especially in a democratic country. In a democracy people elect their government. If they do this without any bias, they will have able administrators who can propel the country to growth. Oftentimes, in India, it is quite common for people to elect corrupt and dishonest people to offices of power. Many people only consider caste, religion or other vested interests when they vote and thus they get rulers who do not care for the development of the country. Obviously, people are also responsible for the problems affecting their country. In conclusion, I believe that the government is certainly responsible for the problems affecting a country; having said that, people who elect the government also have to take some of the blame because the main problem plaguing the country is their inability to choose the right government.
Lack of homes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that plague
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view to a great extent. In democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for ensuring the well-being of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elect
their representatives hoping that they will take care of their needs. Since homes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are among the basic needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for that. An efficient administration can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, it can provide education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the employability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It can offer loans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
businesses. It can
also
run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
enterprises on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If we take a look at the most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few jobless and homeless
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people
there. That means if the administration is efficient it is possible to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are created
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of homelessness will resolve on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Employed
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people
can earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to build a home for themselves and their families.

Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I do not believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
body
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responsible
for the growth and development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
especially
in a democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In a democracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elect
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. If they do this without any bias, they will have able administrators who can propel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to growth. Oftentimes, in India, it is quite common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elect
corrupt and dishonest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to offices of power.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consider caste, religion or other vested interests when they vote and
thus
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rulers who do not care for the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Obviously
,
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people
are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
affecting their country.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
affecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
; having said that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
blame
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
plaguing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is their inability to choose the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
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IELTS essay To what extent do you think governments should be held responsible when problems of homelessness and unemployment arise?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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