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some people think that expanding business and cultural contacts between nations brings many positive results. other say this leads to a loss of national identity. discuss both your perspectives and give your opinion.

some people think that expanding business and cultural contacts between nations brings many positive results. other say this leads to a loss of national identity. 75eXb
It would be argued by some that a growing international business and cultural exchanges can bring benefits. From my perspective, this phenomenon can cause the national specialties of many countries to be assimilated. On the one hand, international trade can contribute to boosting the local economy. It is obvious that running businesses in other countries probably promote the company’s images and reputations, hence, the information about these enterprises would be disseminated to reach more and more clients. This would help them boost their sales figures and production and commerce can be promoted. This means that these firms will dispense thousands of employment opportunities for local people, which can help improve their living standards. In addition, a growing cross-culture can help people expand their perspectives and sense of cultural understanding by exposing them to new experiences in a multicultural setting. Therefore, they will learn to respect and tolerate other ethnicities, which would avoid some culture-related problems such as tensions or conflicts. On the other hand, I believe that this trend could create the possible danger of the disappearance of cultural and traditional values of a nation. Obviously, companies would bring their own culture everywhere it goes, hence, people are more likely to be influenced and acquire a new habit. For example, many of today’s youth seem to prefer Korean songs and Chinese films rather than their traditional songs and dramatics due to the process of integration. This means that other cultures such as lifestyles, occident costumes have gradually penetrated into people’s daily life, disregarding various times-honored values, which can cause the loss of traditional cultures. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against developing borderless commerce and cultural contacts, but it seems to me that this trend can be considered as an insurmountable challenge in terms of ever-increasing culture.
It would
be argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that a growing international business and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
exchanges can bring benefits. From my perspective, this phenomenon can cause the national specialties of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries to
be assimilated
.

On the one hand, international trade can contribute to boosting the local economy. It is obvious that running businesses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries
probably
promote the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s images and reputations,
hence
, the information about these enterprises would
be disseminated
to reach more and more clients. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them boost their sales figures and production and commerce can
be promoted
. This means that these firms will dispense thousands of employment opportunities for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living standards.
In addition
, a growing cross-culture can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
expand their perspectives and sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
understanding by exposing them to new experiences in a multicultural setting.
Therefore
, they will learn to respect and tolerate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ethnicities, which would avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
culture-related problems such as tensions or conflicts.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I believe that this trend could create the possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and traditional values of a nation.
Obviously
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would bring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture everywhere it goes,
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to
be influenced
and acquire a new habit.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s youth seem to prefer Korean songs and Chinese films
rather
than their traditional songs and dramatics due to the process of integration. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures such as lifestyles,
Possible spelling mistake found.
occident
costumes have
gradually
penetrated into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life, disregarding various times-honored values, which can cause the loss of traditional cultures.

In conclusion
, there are convincing arguments both for and against developing borderless commerce and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
contacts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems to me that this trend can
be considered
as an insurmountable challenge in terms of ever-increasing culture.
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IELTS essay some people think that expanding business and cultural contacts between nations brings many positive results. other say this leads to a loss of national identity.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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