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Nowadays most children like to play online games instead of sports and with toys. what are the reasons for this. Is it a positive or negetive.

Nowadays most children like to play online games instead of sports and with toys. what are the reasons for this. Is it a positive or negetive. 75eNb
In this modern era, due to technological improvements life has completely transformed in several ways. Nowadays juveniles have alacrity towards computer based games instead of other physical activities and toys. This essay would discuss compelling reasons of this trend along with its downsides in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there is no speticism that at the moment technological innovations and games have superseded the trading toys and games due to numerous reasons. The first and foremost is, lack of sense of indipendentnes as due to the immense level of traffic congestions and deliqeincis. Thus, parents do not allow their child to go and play out. As a result of which children either become couch potato or adopt the habit of playing online games. Additionally, as nowadays most of children's parents are double income and due to their hectic schedule they do not spend quality time with their child and parents buy computers and tablets to their child at very early age, to curtail their isolation they tend to use such gadgets. Unequivocally, it has become a thought provoking issue and include several untoward aftermaths. It is undeniable that, it is a nasty spectrum and effects the eyesight of children and it has evident many times that it has lead loss of eyesight. In addition to it, undoubtedly distinct mental disorders or disease engender through playing online games as such devices emerge harmful rays. Last but not least, by spending alot of time on internet games one could be become addicted towards that. Later, it would be onerous to leave this habit. In culmination, we are bestowed with the gift of technological aspects. Ergo, it has several unpleasant aftermaths also. So, it is prerequisite to use such devices under parental supervision because onus lies with parents to instruct their child wisely.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to technological
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "improvements'" or "improvement's"?
improvements
life has completely transformed in several ways. Nowadays juveniles have alacrity towards computer based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
instead
of other physical activities and toys. This essay would discuss compelling reasons of this trend along with its downsides in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there is no
Possible spelling mistake found.
speticism
that at the moment technological innovations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have superseded the trading toys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to numerous reasons. The
first
and foremost is, lack of sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
indipendentnes
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the immense level of traffic congestions and
Possible spelling mistake found.
deliqeincis
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to go and play out.
As a result
of which children either become couch potato or adopt the habit of playing online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Additionally
, as nowadays
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the children") or simply say "most children".
most of children
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are double income and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their hectic schedule they do not spend quality time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
computers and tablets to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age, to curtail their isolation they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such gadgets.
Unequivocally
, it has become a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
thought provoking
issue and include several untoward aftermaths. It is undeniable that, it is a nasty spectrum and effects the eyesight of children and it has evident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times that it has lead loss of eyesight.
In addition
to it,
undoubtedly
distinct mental disorders or disease engender through playing online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as such devices emerge harmful rays. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, by spending
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of time on internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
one could
be become
addicted towards that. Later, it would be onerous to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
this habit. In culmination, we
are bestowed
with the gift of technological aspects. Ergo, it has several unpleasant aftermaths
also
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is prerequisite to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such devices under parental supervision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
onus lies with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to instruct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
wisely
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays most children like to play online games instead of sports and with toys. what are the reasons for this. Is it a positive or negetive.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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