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Some people think that employers should ensure a supportive and pleasant work environment where each employee is respected and valued equally while others think employers should focus instead on providing better facilities and equipment . What is your opinion?

It is thought by some that equality in respect and appreciation among Employees should be promoted by the Organisation while others believe that Managers should concentrate on improved tools and amenities. In my opinion, I agree that Employees should work in an environment that values and appreciates them because they will be encouraged to perform well on their jobs and it will also result in an improved relationship among them. Firstly, Employees are encouraged to perform excellently well in their jobs. Workers who exceed the expectation of their Managers are usually those who are appreciated and rewarded for their efforts. This is because their Bosses motivate them while constantly assuring them of their continuous support. For instance, the survey conducted by Cambridge University suggests that 80% of employees who perform their roles beyond their respective job description, are those who are rewarded for doing beyond what is required of them. In addition, the relationship between Employees is improved. A work environment free of strife and disgruntled Employees will definitely result in a cordial relationship within the organisation. Employees are always happy as a result of the humane treatment they receive from their Employers thus enhancing the relationship among them. For example, according to the article published in the Guardian newspaper, the number of satisfied employees increased drastically in a firm when Managers changed their style of leadership. In conclusion, employers should create an environment that respects and values their workers for better performance on their job and an enhanced working relationship.
It is
thought
by
some
that equality in respect and appreciation among
Employees
should
be promoted
by the
Organisation
while others believe that Managers should concentrate on
improved
tools and amenities. In my opinion, I
agree
that
Employees
should work in an environment that values and appreciates them
because
they will
be encouraged
to perform well on their
jobs and
it will
also
result in an
improved
relationship
among them.

Firstly
,
Employees
are encouraged
to perform
excellently
well in their
jobs
. Workers
who
exceed the expectation of their Managers are
usually
those
who
are appreciated
and rewarded for their efforts. This is
because
their Bosses motivate them while
constantly
assuring them of their continuous support.
For instance
, the survey conducted by Cambridge University suggests that 80% of
employees
who
perform their roles beyond their respective
job
description, are those
who
are rewarded
for doing beyond what
is required
of them.

In addition
, the
relationship
between
Employees
is
improved
. A work environment free of strife and disgruntled
Employees
will definitely result in a cordial
relationship
within the
organisation
.
Employees
are always happy
as a result
of the humane treatment they receive from their Employers
thus
enhancing the
relationship
among them.
For example
, according to the article published in the Guardian newspaper, the number of satisfied
employees
increased
drastically
in a firm when Managers
changed
their style of leadership.

In conclusion
, employers should create an environment that respects and values their workers for better performance on their
job
and an enhanced working
relationship
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that employers should ensure a supportive and pleasant work environment where each employee is respected and valued equally while others think employers should focus instead on providing better facilities and equipment. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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