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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement. Give the reason and relevant examples.

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned. with the statement. Give the reason and relevant examples. 9LNrp
Sports play a vital role in our lives and with the advancement in technology, adventurous sports such as car racing, scuba diving etc. are taking commonplace. However, people are divided over the issue that whether these sports should be banned. I completely disagree with this notion because I believe if played with proper precaution, these sports activities are beneficial for both sports person as well the economy of the nation. In this essay, I will elucidate these points in detail. Firstly, people across the globe are inclining more towards sports activities such as car racing and love watching them live in the auditoriums. Organizing such events not only generates revenue but also generate employment opportunities which eventually stimulates the economy. For example, massive manpower is required for making arrangements, maintaining sports cars, equipment, safety and security of everyone involved as well as spectators etc. Hence, the score of people are employed, moreover, revenue is generated by selling tickets. In addition to this, these days many organisations come forward to sponsor such events. So, it has a huge positive impact on the economy. Secondly, sportsmen who put in a huge effort to gain expertise in his field are benefitted as they get recognition in the battleground. The organisations look forward to them for signing a contract with them as a brand ambassador for their organisation. The more famous is the personality, the more offers he gets. For instance, Jeff Gordon, a famous car racing driver, endorse products of 5 different types of sports manufacturing organisations. This gives them not only name and fame but also income. Hence, they get the reward in this form for all the hard work they are putting in. To conclude, I recapitulate that if executed with a stipulated set of rules and regulations, sports activities always help in surging the economy of the country as well as an individual who is playing such sports. Thus, I believe one should not be barred from playing it and it is anticipated that this trend will keep on thriving in long run.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
play a vital role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and with the advancement in technology, adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
racing, scuba diving etc. are taking commonplace.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are divided
over the issue that whether these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be banned
. I completely disagree with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe if played with proper precaution, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities are beneficial for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person
as well
the economy of the nation. In this essay, I will elucidate these points in detail.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
across the globe are inclining more towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
racing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
watching them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the auditoriums. Organizing such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
generates revenue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
generate employment opportunities which
eventually
stimulates the economy.
For example
, massive manpower
is required
for making arrangements, maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, equipment, safety and security of everyone involved
as well
as spectators etc.
Hence
, the score of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are employed
,
moreover
, revenue
is generated
by selling tickets.
In addition
to this, these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to sponsor such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it has a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the economy.

Secondly
, sportsmen who put in a huge effort to gain expertise in his field are
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recognition in the battleground. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
look forward to them for signing a contract with them as a brand ambassador for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. The more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
is the personality, the more offers he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
.
For instance
, Jeff Gordon, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
racing driver, endorse products of 5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
manufacturing
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. This gives them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
name and fame
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
income.
Hence
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the reward in this form for all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work they are putting in.

To conclude
, I recapitulate that if executed with a stipulated set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in surging the economy of the country
as well
as an individual who is playing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Thus
, I believe one should not
be barred
from playing it and it
is anticipated
that this trend will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on thriving in long run.
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IELTS essay Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned. with the statement. Give the reason and relevant examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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