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Some people think that crime can be reduced by sentence them for longer periods

Some people think that crime can be reduced by sentence them for longer periods 8n0m
Crime is a serious problem across the globe and all countries are trying to deal with this pressing issue. A section of the society believe that prison sentences for a longer duration can help to reduce the crime, whilst others disagree and argue that there are other better ways to solve this. This essay agrees with the argument that alternative ways such as educating people and giving them resources to earn are far more beneficial than confining them to a prison cell. This essay will discuss both points of view. There are a number of people who think that offenders should be punished with longer prison sentences because this phenomenon can invoke / generate fear in a criminal’s mind. In other words, if a person is already aware of the intensity of punishment before committing any crime, it will discourage him from becoming a criminal. For example, in the UAE, the rapist and the murderer usually get lifetime prison sentences, resulting in making people think twice before committing any serious crime. Hence, imposing strict punishment deters people from committing crime. However, I believe that alternative ways such as providing proper education facilities and employment can solve the issues far more effectively and I agree with them. Sufficient education and job opportunities keep the masses busy and nobody will try to commit any offence. Furthermore, people / citizens will have some goals in their lives to fulfill, which keeps them away from negative thoughts. To exemplify, in Sweden education is free for everyone and the country’s authority is continuously working for more employment options. That is the reason why Sweden tops the list of peaceful countries. In conclusion, longer prison terms certainly instill fear in the minds of potential criminals and discourage them from committing crime. However, eradicating the root cause of crime by providing education and employment opportunities is a better option.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is a serious problem across the globe and all countries are trying to deal with this pressing issue. A section of the society believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences for a longer duration can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, whilst others disagree and argue that there are other better ways to solve this. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the argument that alternative ways such as educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and giving them resources to earn are far more beneficial than confining them to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
cell. This essay will discuss both points of view.

There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that offenders should
be punished
with longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this phenomenon can invoke / generate fear in a criminal’s mind.
In other words
, if a person is already aware of the intensity of punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committing
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, it will discourage him from becoming a criminal.
For example
, in the UAE, the rapist and the murderer
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences, resulting in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committing
any serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Hence
, imposing strict punishment deters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committing
crime.

However
, I believe that alternative ways such as providing proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facilities and employment can solve the issues far more
effectively
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them. Sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and job opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the masses busy and nobody will try to commit any
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
/ citizens will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
goals in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to fulfill, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them away from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts. To exemplify, in Sweden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is free for everyone and the country’s authority is
continuously
working for more employment options.
That is
the reason why Sweden tops the list of peaceful countries.

In conclusion
, longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
terms
certainly
instill fear in the minds of potential criminals and discourage them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
, eradicating the root cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and employment opportunities is a better option.
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IELTS essay Some people think that crime can be reduced by sentence them for longer periods

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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