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Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society. with this statement? 0Ny9
At present, spending time in shopping malls for leisure has become a trend among adults. Many people argue that this is not healthy, because of the negative consequences. I totally agree with the statement. Many youthful people waste their day and night in shopping complexes with no purposes. Most of the time, young crowed spend their time in stores just for nothing. They roam around for window shopping, meeting friends or having coffee. Sometimes, they skip their classes and other academic works just to visit there. Interestingly, a recent survey in the USA shows that 85% of time spend in outlet malls by young individuals was lost on just for idling, as a result it was spent with no productive outcome. The adolescent period is very vulnerable to the growth and development of the body and mind. Shopping plazas are not helping to achieve any of these positively. Instead of wasting their free time in mega markets, the young community can use it in several other beneficial ways, which are helpful to their personal and social improvement. For example, going to a library, playground or gymnasium will be much useful. Because it will help them in several ways for their future career development. In conclusion, even though killing free hours in-store complexes is a growing fashion among adults, this has many negative influences on them. Therefore, young people should be guided by alternative measures to spend their leisure time effectively
At present, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls for leisure has become a trend among adults.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this is not healthy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
youthful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
waste their day and night in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
complexes with no purposes. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
crowed spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for nothing. They roam around for window
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, meeting friends or having coffee.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, they skip their classes and other academic works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to visit there.
Interestingly
, a recent survey in the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 85% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spend in outlet malls by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals
was lost
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for idling,
as a result
it
was spent
with no productive outcome.

The adolescent period is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vulnerable to the growth and development of the body and mind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
plazas are not helping to achieve any of these
positively
.
Instead
of wasting their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in mega markets, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
community can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in several other beneficial ways, which are helpful to their personal and social improvement.
For example
, going to a library, playground or gymnasium will be much useful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in several ways for their future career development.

In conclusion
,
even though
killing free hours in-store complexes is a growing fashion among adults, this has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences on them.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be guided
by alternative measures to spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
effectively
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IELTS essay Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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