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Some people think that coins and paper money will vanish in a few years. We will only use plastic cards or some other form of electronic currency. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that coins and paper money will vanish in a few years. We will only use plastic cards or some other form of electronic currency. Is this a positive or negative development? yXxaP
The advances in modern technology allow us to modify or change the funds' systems used for trade. While many individuals believe in complete disappearance of coin and notes in future and are ready to welcome alternate options such as plastic cards or electronic currency, I strongly argue against this trend because; not all individuals are well versed with electronic transactions and also, coins and paper are environment-friendly. It is indeed difficult to cope up with the loss of the current currency system in the coming years. This is because not all people are educated enough to understand an online transaction method. For instance, the older and illiterate people might need the help of others to carry out a simple payment. As a consequence, this can lead to an elevated rate of cyber crimes. Furthermore, an electronic currency that will require the Internet connection, advance mobiles, which poor people cannot afford, can create a problem. Another reason I feel plastic cards shouldn’t be considered as currency in the coming time is that they are not environment-friendly. Production of a huge lot plastic card will require an enormous amount of the same to be made which can put an extra burden on the surroundings. To explain, we can easily recycle the paper notes and melt the metals to form other coins but recycled plastic cannot again be used to make the same cards. As discussed above, I stand firm with my opinion that states use of the plastic cards or an electronic currency in the future and obsoleting current notes and coins is a negative development since it can create difficulties for poor, illiterate and elderly people and also, add burden on the environment.
The advances in modern technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to modify or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the funds' systems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for trade. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals believe in complete disappearance of coin and notes in future and are ready to welcome alternate options such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
currency
, I
strongly
argue against this trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
; not all individuals are well versed with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
transactions and
also
, coins and paper are environment-friendly.

It is
indeed
difficult to cope up with the loss of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
currency
system in the coming years. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to understand an online transaction method.
For instance
, the older and illiterate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might need the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of others to carry out a simple payment. As a consequence, this can lead to an elevated rate of cyber crimes.
Furthermore
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
currency
that will require the Internet connection, advance mobiles, which poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford, can create a problem.

Another reason I feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
shouldn’t
be considered
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
currency
in the coming time is that they are not environment-friendly. Production of a huge lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
will require an enormous amount of the same to
be made
which can put an extra burden on the surroundings. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, we can
easily
recycle the paper notes and melt the metals to form other coins
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
recycled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
cannot again be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the same cards.

As discussed above, I stand firm with my opinion that states
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
or an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
currency
in the future and obsoleting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
notes and coins is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development since it can create difficulties for poor, illiterate and elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
burden on the environment.
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IELTS essay Some people think that coins and paper money will vanish in a few years. We will only use plastic cards or some other form of electronic currency. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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