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Some people think that children should not watch tv while others thin that it helps to improve their knowledge

Some people think that children should not watch tv while others thin that it helps to improve their knowledge 7p8Jn
To the way of myriod of human beings' thinking that watching TV should be banned for children whereas others believe that education of kids will be increased by watching TV. I will explain my point of view in the following paragraphs and give some supporting reasons. On the one hand, watching TV should be limited for children due to harm of health by older member of family. Children do not know how long they should watch TV on a daily basis. Also thereare a plethora of programmes for kids and these programmes do not have any break. As a result, they will have some problems with their eyes on accont of watching TV. It makes parents ban watching TV. For example, a great number of children are in danger of not seeing well. On the other hand, children should learn about world because they its never-ending questions. So watching TV should be allowed for children by their parents because of the fact that kids should know all information which is important. Everyday evetything is being dicovered by scientists which is used to help humans. To know about discoveries journalists ar making nowadays report that is showed on TV. For instance, there are a lot of dicoveries but children do not know all of them. Taking everything into consideration, both watching TV and protecting from harm of health is useful for children the reason why both of them is significant. If there is some restrict, it will support to do either of them.
To the way of
Possible spelling mistake found.
myriod
of human beings' thinking that watching TV should
be banned
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whereas others believe that education of kids will
be increased
by watching TV. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view in the following paragraphs and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supporting reasons.

On the one hand, watching TV should
be limited
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
due to harm of health by older member of family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how long they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV on a daily basis.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
Possible spelling mistake found.
thereare
a plethora of
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for kids and these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
do not have any break.
As a result
, they will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with their eyes on
Possible spelling mistake found.
accont
of watching TV. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
parents ban watching TV.
For example
, a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of not seeing well.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn about world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they its never-ending questions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
watching TV should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by their parents
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
kids should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
all information which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
Everyday
Possible spelling mistake found.
evetything
is being
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicovered
by scientists which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
humans. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about discoveries journalists
Possible spelling mistake found.
ar
making nowadays report
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
on TV.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicoveries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
all of them.

Taking everything into consideration, both watching TV and protecting from harm of health is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the reason why both of them is significant. If there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrict, it will support to do either of them.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children should not watch tv while others thin that it helps to improve their knowledge

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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