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A traffic accident is becoming more and more serious. What should we do to lessen it?

A traffic accident is becoming more and more serious. What should we do to lessen it? 1m8a7
With the rapid increase in the number of vehicles on the road, together with hush and rush lifestyles of drivers today, traffic accidents have become a pressing issue in the entire world. Most of the accidents caused serious injuries or either worse death. Here are two main ways that can help lessen it. In my view, strict punishments can certainly help to encourage people to drive more safely. Penalties for dangerous drivers can act as a deterrent, meaning that people avoid repeating the same action. There are various types of driving penalty such as small fines, license suspension and even prison sentences. These punishments is aimed to show dangerous drivers that their actions have negative consequences so that they follow the rules more carefully. For instance, drivers who violate the speed limit will have to pay an amount of money and got their cars confiscated. Furthermore, safe driving can be promoted in several ways that are different from punishing drivers. Firstly, it is extremely essential to educate people properly before they start to drive. This could be done in schools or even as a part of an extended driving test. For example, besides from the driving test, we will have to take a theory test about driving rules. Secondly, people should pay more attention to road signs, as well as learning the meaning of them. Signs can be used to warn people and speed cameras can help to deter people from driving pass speed limits. Finally, governments could reduce traffic accidents by investing in better public transport, which would mean that fewer people would need to travel by car. In conclusion, traffic accident is a serious issue but many actions can be taken to reduce it.
With the rapid increase in the number of vehicles on the road, together with hush and rush lifestyles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
have become a pressing issue in the entire world. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
caused serious injuries or either worse death. Here are two main ways that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
lessen it.

In my view, strict punishments can
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to drive more
safely
. Penalties for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
can act as a deterrent, meaning that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoid repeating the same action. There are various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
penalty such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fines, license suspension and even prison sentences. These punishments
You should probably use: "are".
is
aimed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
that their actions have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
more
carefully
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who violate the speed limit will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay an amount of money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
their cars confiscated.

Furthermore
, safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
can
be promoted
in several ways that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
.
Firstly
, it is
extremely
essential to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
properly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to drive. This could
be done
in schools or even as a part of an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
For example
,
besides
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take a theory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay more attention to road signs,
as well
as learning the meaning of them. Signs can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to warn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and speed cameras can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
pass speed limits.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
by investing in better public transport, which would mean that fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would need to travel by car.

In conclusion
, traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
is a serious issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
actions can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it.
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IELTS essay A traffic accident is becoming more and more serious. What should we do to lessen it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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