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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT CERTAIN PRISONERS SHOULD BE MADE TO DO UNPAID COMMUNITY SERVICE INSTEAD OF BEING PUT BEHIND BARS. EXTENT OF AGREEMENT.

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT CERTAIN PRISONERS SHOULD BE MADE TO DO UNPAID COMMUNITY SERVICE INSTEAD OF BEING PUT BEHIND BARS. EXTENT OF AGREEMENT. lWO99
Crimes in many countries have gone beyond the tolerable rate and it is a common practice for the law and order authority of those countries to put the perpetrators of the crimes behind bars. Some people hold the opinion that all crimes are not the same and therefore should not be punished in a grave manner. I too hold the same opinion that certain crimes can be punished by means of community service and volunteering work. Crimes that are petty or minor in nature can hold a punishment of community service for a certain number of hours especially if the prepetrator is a juvenile or he/she is a first time offender. I believe that most of the perpetrators of petty crimes such as minor thefts of foods and essentials, piracy, and so on are not born as criminals but are often pushed by the circumstances in their life and punishing them harshly would only make it worse. Take an instance, when these perpetrators are released after completing their punishment in prison, they would not be easily be accepted in the society. They would struggle to find a job, gel well with the society and eventually start living a life of an outlaw. Whereas, if they are given a punishment of community service, this would help them to understand the society better, remedy their behaviour and start fresh as a reformed individual. Heinous crimes such as Premeditated murder, abduction, extortion, drug dealing, rape and so on should be punished harshly. The perpetrators of such heinous crimes should not be spared any mercy and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. This needs to be done in order to set an example to the society and prevent any individual from committing these kinds of crimes in the future by showing what awaits them in the court of law once they are caught. I feel that any individuals who are capable of committing such crimes cannot be remedied using community service and also they posses a serious threat to the society once they are released after completing their punishment. To conclude, yes, certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community service as their punishment and not be put behind bars, but this decision needs to be taken after doing a thorough and an extensive investigation on the nature of the crime and the motive behind committing the same.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crimes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have gone beyond the tolerable rate and it is a common practice for the law and order authority of those countries to put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perpetrators
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
behind bars.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are not the same and
therefore
should not
be punished
Consider replacing "in a grave manner" with the adverb for "grave"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a grave manner
.
Consider using commas to set off 'too', if you want to emphasize an abrupt change of thought.
I too
hold the same opinion that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can
be punished
by means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and volunteering work.

Crimes that are petty or minor in nature can hold a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
for a certain number of hours
especially
if the
Possible spelling mistake found.
prepetrator
is a
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
juvenile or
he/she is a
first
time offender. I believe that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perpetrators
of petty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as minor thefts of foods and essentials, piracy, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are not born as criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pushed by the circumstances in their life and punishing them
harshly
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it worse. Take an instance, when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perpetrators
are released
after completing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in prison, they would not be
easily
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. They would struggle to find a job, gel well with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living a life of an outlaw. Whereas, if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
better, remedy their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
fresh as a reformed individual.

Heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as Premeditated murder, abduction, extortion, drug dealing, rape and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on should
be punished
harshly
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perpetrators
of such heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should not
be spared
any mercy and should
be prosecuted
to the full extent of the law. This needs to
be done
in order to set an example to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any individual from committing these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the future by showing what awaits them in the court of law once they
are caught
. I feel that any individuals who are capable of committing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
cannot
be remedied
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and
also
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they posses
a serious threat to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
once they
are released
after completing their punishment.

To conclude
, yes, certain prisoners should
be made
to do unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and not
be put
behind bars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this decision needs to
be taken
after doing a thorough and an extensive investigation on the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and the motive behind committing the same.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT CERTAIN PRISONERS SHOULD BE MADE TO DO UNPAID COMMUNITY SERVICE INSTEAD OF BEING PUT BEHIND BARS. EXTENT OF AGREEMENT.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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