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Dit con mej may tao dang cojc nha, cham cho dang hoang chjo tao

Dit con mej may tao dang cojc nha, cham cho dang hoang chjo tao KWD7k
Opinions are divided, whilst some individuals reckon that parents should take responsibility to educate their offspring to become good members of society, others state that school is conducive to acquire this aspect. From my personal perspective, I contend that parents in addition to school should be in charge of teaching children to be cultivated citizens. On the one hand, a handful of individuals widely believe that parents are crucial in educating children owing to the combination of reasons. In the first place, it is in the family that children are born and primarily educated by their parents until the age of five that children are eligible to get to school. Education commences at home and thus can have effects on children’s personality as well as intellectual development. For instance, juniors are taught characteristics that are essential for their life in the future namely honesty, tolerance or respect. Another compelling reason is that children obey their parents’ instructions than any other, hence, kids will presumably obey what they are instructed. On the other hand, school should share responsibility in terms of educating children’s manners. The primary reason is that parents cannot manage to leave sufficient time for their offspring stem mostly from pressure of earning finance, struggling with business trips. Furthermore, school serves as an academic environment where juniors are comprehensively educated. Once children get to school, they enter a wider community where teachers and peers influence children’s manners. At school, for example, juveniles are able to experience a small-scaled environment by working with peers coming from a variety of backgrounds. These activities, therefore, teach children how to co-operate with other people as well as assist others. In conclusion, children’s characteristics are formed by the association between parents and school. In my opinion, juniors should be well-educated during at home by relatives. Meanwhile, teachers and peers are also supportive in academic environment.
Opinions
are divided
, whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take responsibility to educate their offspring to become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
members of society, others state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is conducive to acquire this aspect. From my personal perspective, I contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in addition
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should be in charge of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
be cultivated
citizens.

On the one hand, a handful of individuals
widely
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are crucial in educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
owing to the combination of reasons. In the
first
place, it is in the family that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are born
and
primarily
educated by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
until the age of five that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are eligible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Education commences at home and
thus
can have effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
personality
as well
as intellectual development.
For instance
, juniors
are taught
characteristics that are essential for their life in the future
namely
honesty, tolerance or respect. Another compelling reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
obey their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
instructions than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
hence
, kids will presumably obey what they
are instructed
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should share responsibility in terms of educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
manners. The primary reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot manage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
sufficient time for their offspring stem
mostly
from pressure of earning finance, struggling with business trips.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
serves as an academic environment where juniors are
comprehensively
educated. Once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they enter a wider community where teachers and peers influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
manners. At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
for example
, juveniles are able to experience a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scaled environment by working with peers coming from a variety of backgrounds. These activities,
therefore
, teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to co-operate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
as assist others.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
characteristics
are formed
by the association between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my opinion, juniors should be well-educated during at home by relatives. Meanwhile, teachers and peers are
also
supportive in academic environment.
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IELTS essay Dit con mej may tao dang cojc nha, cham cho dang hoang chjo tao

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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