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Some people think that big salary is important than job satisfaction.To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that big salary is important than job satisfaction. pJPQ2
Getting paid for the effort that has been delivered is indispensible. While some people think that the pay they get for the work is far more important than the work satisfaction. I also completely agree to this thought as it aids in attaining happiness in life and good financial status in a society One of the prominent factor that can be achieved from a sizeable income is that it can bring joy in one's life eventhough they dislike the job they are at. It is important for a person to fulfill his materialistic dream inorder to be contented in one's life. Since most of the commercial goods' prices have bolstered substantially, unless a person spends more money, they will not be able to buy the things they like. Owing to this, considering huge salary is inevitable. To illustrate, although I do not work at my dream job, I was able to achieve my dream of getting an Apple iphone 12 only because of the huge hike that I have got from the same work. As a result, I was happy because I was able to achieve my wishful thought. Another beneficial factor that can be attained from a good income is the elite status in society. According to norms these days, a person is said to be rich only if they own an independent villa in an evergrowing suburban area. This can only be achieved by getting a healthy salary despite the less interesting job. For example, one of my friends, who has a boring job and a huge income, had purchased a villa in the white town of bangalore, the wealthiest area of the city, was able to get into the elite members club of bangalore which is not possible otherwise. To sum up, I completely agree that it is important to consider the huge pay irrespective of the interest towards the job. As this can yield one with happiness by achieving the dream. Additionally, it aids in reaching the social status of being wealthy. In my opinion, these two factors are way more important than anything else.
Getting paid for the effort that has
been delivered
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
indispensible
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the pay they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is far more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
satisfaction. I
also
completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
as it aids in attaining happiness in life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
financial status in a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society


One of the prominent factor that can
be achieved
from a sizeable income is that it can bring joy in one's life
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
they dislike the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they are at. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a person to fulfill his materialistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
Possible spelling mistake found.
inorder
to
be contented
in one's life. Since most of the commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
' prices have bolstered
substantially
, unless a person spends more money, they will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the things they like. Owing to this, considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
salary is inevitable. To illustrate, although I do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to achieve my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
of getting an Apple
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
12
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
hike that I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
As a result
, I was happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to achieve my wishful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

Another beneficial factor that can
be attained
from a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
income is the elite status in society. According to norms these days, a person
is said
to be rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
an independent villa in an
Possible spelling mistake found.
evergrowing
suburban area. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be achieved
by getting a healthy salary despite the less interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, one of my friends, who has a boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
income, had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a villa in the white town of
Possible spelling mistake found.
bangalore
, the wealthiest area of the city, was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the elite members club of
Possible spelling mistake found.
bangalore
which is not possible
otherwise
.

To sum up, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
pay irrespective of the interest towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
this can yield one with happiness by achieving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
.
Additionally
, it aids in reaching the social status of being wealthy. In my opinion, these two factors are way more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than anything else.
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IELTS essay Some people think that big salary is important than job satisfaction.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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