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Some people think that because of email, social media and telephones, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that because of email, social media and telephones, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. EOQQ
It is believed that due to the advent of modern communication methods, the conversation among individuals is not private as it was in the past. This essay agrees with this statement because people share all personal information on social networks and there are some privacy concerns with digital platforms. The primary reason behind this is that these days people upload their personal information on social networking websites. They do this because they want to share their important events of lives with friends. This leads to people’s personal life open in the public domain and this leaves no room of privacy for them. For example, these days, most people use social media to share important events of their life and this makes their personal life open in the public, like moving to another city or expecting a baby. Another reason behind this is some privacy-related issues when people use modern methods of communication. The platforms people use to communicate read messages and listen to the conversation. The social platforms use this information to find peoples’ likes and dislikes. Therefore, these companies are actually spying on people for their own goods and this makes people’s conversation less personal. For example, recently Facebook is under fire because of spying on people’s personal data and selling users interests to the corporate sector. In conclusion, the latest advancement in the communication industry has made our conversation less personal because people share every personal information on social platforms and there are some concerns about the breach of personal data. Therefore, it is predicted that people will use digital platforms more cautiously.
It
is believed
that due to the advent of modern communication methods, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
among individuals is not private as it was in the past. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
privacy concerns with digital platforms.

The primary reason behind this is that these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
upload their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites. They do this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with friends. This leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life open in the public domain and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
no room of privacy for them.
For example
, these days, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of their life and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life open in the public, like moving to another city or expecting a baby.

Another reason behind this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
privacy-related issues when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern methods of communication. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to communicate read messages and listen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
likes and dislikes.
Therefore
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are actually spying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
.
For example
, recently Facebook is under fire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of spying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data and selling users interests to the corporate sector.

In conclusion
, the latest advancement in the communication industry has made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerns about the breach of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data.
Therefore
, it
is predicted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
more
cautiously
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that because of email, social media and telephones, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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