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many believe that planning for the future is more important than focusing on the present. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea

many believe that planning for the future is more important than focusing on the present. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea LOVn
It had been a topic of debate weather planning for future is the most crusal thing to focus on. Many are against it, believing to focus on present. However focusing solely on the future has both advantages and disadvantages both the positive and negative of such a mantality are discussed in following paragraph. To begin with, future planning certainly benifits individuals with different situations. Firstly, planning makes life more organise and less complicated a person with a clear goal can direct all efforts at one target only and save him selves few resources: money and energy. Secondly, future planning makes people aware about future situation and act according it, undoubtaly this can help in emergency situation where mostly life is at risk for instance people who are prepared for disister like floods and earthquake can help them selves survive for longar days. On the other hand, only focusing on the future will affect the present of individuals. For that first and for most, concentration on the current work is necessary in the day to day life of everyone but much more focusing on the future will disturb that day to day work, so it will result into lake of concentration on work. Moreover, as everyone knows that future is uncertain means people does not know the perfect situation about future but they only assume that or predict that so for the thing which result we dose not know and spending more time on that is wasting of time. To conclude, one should has to plan future according to his/her need not more than that if they do then will not enjoy their present life while thinking too much about future.
It had been a topic of debate weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
crusal
thing to focus on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
are against it, believing to focus on present.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
focusing
solely
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
has both advantages and disadvantages both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of such a
Possible spelling mistake found.
mantality
are discussed
in following paragraph. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
certainly
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
individuals with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
and less complicated a person with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
goal can direct all efforts at one target
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and save him selves few resources: money and energy.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and act according it,
Possible spelling mistake found.
undoubtaly
this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in emergency
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
where
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for instance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are prepared
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
disister
like floods and earthquake can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Did you mean "themselves"?
them selves
survive for
Possible spelling mistake found.
longar
days.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will affect the present of individuals. For that
first
and for most, concentration on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
work is necessary in the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
much more focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will disturb that day to day work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will result into lake of concentration on work.
Moreover
, as everyone knows that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is uncertain means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
does
not know the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
assume that or predict that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for the thing which result we dose not know and spending more time on
that is
wasting of time.
To conclude
, one should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
to plan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
according to his/her need not more than that if they do then will not enjoy their present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while thinking too much about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay many believe that planning for the future is more important than focusing on the present. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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