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Some People Think That Art Is An Essential Subject For Children At School While Others Think It Is A Waste Of Time v.9

Some People Think That Art Is An Essential Subject For Children At School While Others Think It Is A Waste Of Time v. 9
There is no doubt that art education can play a vital role in the overall development of a child. Although some believe that including this including art in their curriculum is not worth their time, I would argue that it is a necessary subject that enhances their learning experience. On the one hand, those who believe studying art is time consuming and worthless might argue that it does not lead to a successful career. This is because many artists struggle to make a living. For instance, a painter may have trouble selling a single piece of his art. By contrast, if the same time is utilized for learning other more important subjects such as science or business at school, it is likely that it will result in a fruitful profession like medicine, engineering, law or architecture. On the other hand, my view is that it is very important to teach art at this stage because it imparts different life skills. The reason for this is that by practicing arts children can develop skills like patience, improved motor ability, better hand-eye co-ordination, creativity and many more. By completing a project and observing the rewards of hard work they build perseverance and unique way of thinking abilities, for example. Hence, if these skills are not taught at school, it may hinder the overall development of children. In conclusion, while it is true that teaching art at school may seem to be a worthless and time consuming pursuit, it is my firm belief that the time spent on it will definitely foster life skills crucial for success in future.
There is no doubt that
art
education can play a vital role in the
overall
development of a child. Although
some
believe that including this including
art
in their curriculum is not worth their
time
, I would argue that it is a necessary subject that enhances their learning experience.

On the one hand, those who believe studying
art
is
time consuming
and worthless might argue that it does not lead to a successful career. This is
because
many
artists struggle to
make
a living.
For instance
, a painter may have trouble selling a single piece of his
art
. By contrast, if the same
time
is utilized
for learning other more
important
subjects such as science or business at school, it is likely that it will result in a fruitful profession like medicine, engineering, law or architecture.

On the other hand
, my view is that it is
very
important
to teach
art
at this stage
because
it imparts
different
life
skills
.
The reason for this is
that by practicing
arts
children can develop
skills
like patience,
improved
motor ability, better hand-eye co-ordination, creativity and
many
more. By completing a project and observing the rewards of
hard
work they build perseverance and unique way of thinking abilities,
for example
.
Hence
, if these
skills
are not taught at school, it may hinder the
overall
development of children.

In conclusion
, while it is true that teaching
art
at school may seem to be a worthless and
time consuming
pursuit, it is my firm belief that the
time
spent on it will definitely foster life
skills
crucial for success
in future
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some People Think That Art Is An Essential Subject For Children At School While Others Think It Is A Waste Of Time v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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