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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. X0dO
Some people believe that all adolescents should spend their time to get extra money by some jobs. I disagree with this perspective because I believe that teenagers should use their free time to support society as much as possible. On the one hand, I accept that there are certain benefits of paying jobs for teens. In most developed countries, people tend to educate their children that they should be learned financial independence as soon as possible. Hence, It would be very helpful for adolescents who might have the opportunity to get some money from a part-time job. For example, A lot of American parents are willing to give their children make money by supporting family businesses such as delivery, storage, and so on. In fact, getting paid jobs has a certain effect of encouraging and motivating teenagers to be more mature and responsible. At the same time, I would agree that young adults should contribute small efforts to their community by working as a volunteer, perhaps taking part in some non-government institutions about the environment or organization in reducing plastic rubbish campaign and so on. I believe that in this way teenagers might have chances to gain necessary experiences and useful skills for their future as well as support their own society. For example, Greta Thunberg a well-known environmental activist, against climate change as well as global warming issues not only in Sweden but also around the world, She is just 16-year-old, with her efforts, she generated a lot of pressure for political experts of the major nations on reflecting their own actions on serious environmental issues. Personally, I suppose that a tiny contribution might have a much greater impact on society In conclusion, young teenagers might have a range of opportunities to seek a well-paid job, but in my opinion, Parents should encourage their children finding a meaningful work for our communities.
Some
people
believe that all adolescents should spend their time to
get
extra money by
some
jobs
. I disagree with this perspective
because
I believe that
teenagers
should
use
their free time to support society as much as possible.

On the one hand, I accept that there are certain benefits of paying
jobs
for teens. In most
developed countries
,
people
tend to educate their children that they should
be learned
financial independence as
soon
as possible.
Hence
, It would be
very
helpful for adolescents who
might
have the opportunity to
get
some
money from a part-time
job
.
For example
,
A lot of
American parents are willing to give their children
make
money by supporting family businesses such as delivery, storage, and
so
on. In fact, getting paid
jobs
has a certain effect of encouraging and motivating
teenagers
to be more mature and responsible.

At the same time, I would
agree
that young adults should contribute
small
efforts to their community by working as a volunteer, perhaps taking part in
some
non-
government
institutions about the environment or organization in reducing plastic rubbish campaign and
so
on. I believe that in this way
teenagers
might
have chances to gain necessary experiences and useful
skills
for their future
as well
as support their
own
society.
For example
, Greta Thunberg a well-known environmental activist, against climate
change
as well
as global warming issues not
only
in Sweden
but
also
around the world, She is
just
16-year-
old
, with her efforts, she generated
a lot of
pressure for political experts of the major nations on reflecting their
own
actions on serious environmental issues.
Personally
, I suppose that a tiny contribution
might
have a much greater impact on society

In conclusion
, young
teenagers
might
have a range of opportunities to seek a well-paid
job
,
but
in my opinion, Parents should encourage their children finding a meaningful work for our communities.
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IELTS essay Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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