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Some people think that a sense of competition in the children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operation rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Some people think that a sense of competition in the children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operation rather than compete become more useful adults. awJJP
Now a days, parent and teacher are trying to up bring children in many ways. Subtle communities pressure on understanding of competition into toddlers while remaining ague that we should be taught about co-operation instead of competition to the kids. I will sketch reasonable arguments about these two views before representing my own sentiment. Given two ways, one is emphasize on the competition among adolescents and it have many advantageous logics. To begin with, content in early age enhance the level of creativity. Children make qualitative efforts to come up with uniqueness in order to win prices. For instance, the elocution challenge, children work on uncommon interpretation so that chances of winning for them in it is burgeon. Furthermore, toddlers become independent. Children learn how to end up with effective conclusion of any problem through vies. Another way weigh on the co-operation over competition amid the juveniles due to through it they become an ideal person in their adult session and several points endorse it. First of all, Children familiar with team work. Co-operation brings quality of how to work with others and it will makes good employer at workplace. For example, activities regarding to the tasks in partnership installed team working capability. Moreover, they are become polite, kind, and devoted; and these skill ultimately help to engineer hospitable society. In my opinion, both competitive and cooperative approaches essential for the children. Competition encouragement to upgrade creativity level and deal with difficulties whereas cooperative makes an ideal person as well as collaborative. Thus, combination of these both matters will be make a perfect person. By the way of conclusion, we should inspire children in both direction.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
, parent and teacher are trying to up bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
. Subtle communities pressure on understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
into toddlers while remaining ague that we should
be taught
about co-operation
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
to the kids. I will sketch reasonable arguments about these two views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
representing my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sentiment.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
, one is
Consider using a past participle here: "emphasized".
emphasize
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
among adolescents and it
Did you mean "has"?
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantageous logics. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, content in early age enhance the level of creativity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
qualitative efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with uniqueness in order to win prices.
For instance
, the elocution challenge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
work on uncommon interpretation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that chances of winning for them in it is
Consider using a past participle here: "burgeoned".
burgeon
.
Furthermore
, toddlers become independent.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with effective conclusion of any problem through vies.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
weigh on the co-operation over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
amid the juveniles due to through
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they become an ideal person in their adult session and several points endorse it.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
familiar with team work. Co-operation brings quality of how to work with others and it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
employer at workplace.
For example
, activities
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
the tasks in partnership installed team working capability.
Moreover
, they
are become
polite, kind, and devoted; and these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to engineer hospitable society.

In my opinion, both competitive and cooperative approaches essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Competition
encouragement to upgrade creativity level and deal with difficulties whereas cooperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
an ideal person
as well
as collaborative.
Thus
, combination of these both matters will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a perfect person.

By the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of conclusion, we should inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in both direction.

IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in the children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operation rather than compete become more useful adults.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that a sense of competition in the children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operation rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?