Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. bGyY
It has profoundly been debated that competitiveness between children should be boosted, while others consider that cooperation is better than being competitive for children. There are valid opinions on both sides of this intensely debated issue and I will ponder them now. On the first side of the argument, I understand why certain individuals believe that teaching to be competitive is the best way to interpret their children gaining success. The foremost point to depict is that they believe competition enhances motivation and fulfilment. In other words, children who have learned to be vying are joining contests and compete with other students. They try to do their utmost to win the competition and get reward from parents and teachers. On the other hand, I would side those who endorse the argument that inculcating to be collaborative is better than instilling competition. The primary reason why I advocate that the idea due to the fact of working or learning cooperatively in groups, children learn attributes as respect, exchange of help, tolerance etc. To be more specific, when students prepare a pattern of something with classmates, they obtain result more successfully and quickly. For instance, I was at school, I did new exploration with my friends collaboratively and we gained success. By way of conclusion, taking the above-mentioned justification into account, even though there are numerous reasons for the former statement, I am of the opinion that inculcating to be collaborative to children by parents is better than encouraging a sense of competition.
It has
profoundly
been debated
that competitiveness between
children
should
be boosted
, while others consider that cooperation is better than being competitive for
children
. There are valid opinions on both sides of this
intensely
debated issue and I will ponder them
now
.

On the
first
side of the argument, I understand why certain individuals believe that teaching to be competitive is the best way to interpret their
children
gaining success. The foremost point to depict is that they believe
competition
enhances motivation and
fulfilment
. In
other
words,
children
who have learned to be vying are joining contests and compete with
other
students. They try to do their utmost to win the
competition
and
get
reward from parents and teachers.

On the
other
hand, I would side those who endorse the argument that inculcating to be collaborative is better than instilling
competition
. The primary reason why I advocate that the
idea
due to the fact of working or learning
cooperatively
in groups,
children
learn attributes as respect, exchange of
help
, tolerance etc. To be more specific, when students prepare a pattern of something with classmates, they obtain result more
successfully
and
quickly
.
For instance
, I was at school, I did new exploration with my friends
collaboratively and
we gained success.

By way of conclusion, taking the above-mentioned justification into account,
even though
there are numerous reasons for the former statement, I am of the opinion that inculcating to be collaborative to
children
by parents is better than encouraging a sense of
competition
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic: