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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taugh to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Encouraging a sense of competition in children have its own advantages and disadvantages. The first time they develop this is when they engage in games, and their reactions upon receiving a win or a loss should be closely monitored by the parents. For example, being the winner may be a positive reinforcement to boost their drive to accomplish something again, or it may also make them complacent and too proud. On the other hand, losing in a particular child’s play may harness feelings of inadequacy and injure their self-worth, or it may be a definite reason to try harder and get better next time. The surrounding adults, especially the parents, have a pivotal role in guiding children on enriching their competitive side as well as the dangers of mediocrity, overachievement, and attaching their self-esteem to contests. What about children who are trained to cooperate than compete? As others would believe, have greater potential to contribute as adults in the future. This is because every industry requires the principal skill of collaborating with people of different specializations to achieve their overall vision. A healthy competition is welcome as long as there is mutual respect and understanding; otherwise, it may be detrimental to the individual, the companies, and organizations. Competition based on the intent of beating the opponent tend to harbor negative emotions and may cost more than the reward; but competition on the grounds of refining one’s abilities to become the best in a particular craft have higher chances of receiving opportunities in the future. I reckon that collaboration is the most important skill that should be augmented during childhood, because this stage of life is where most of our personality traits and habits are formed. The most successful leaders are followed, respected, and revered because of their ability to work with and not against people. It they are able to work together at an early age to attain a common goal, the chances of creating a positive ripple effect are higher for future generations.
Encouraging a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in children have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages. The
first
time they develop this is when they engage in games, and their reactions upon receiving a win or a loss should be
closely
monitored by the parents.
For example
, being the winner may be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
reinforcement to boost their drive to accomplish something again, or it may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them complacent and too proud.
On the other hand
, losing in a particular child’s play may harness feelings of inadequacy and injure their self-worth, or it may be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
reason to try harder and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
next
time. The surrounding adults,
especially
the parents, have a pivotal role in guiding children on enriching their competitive side
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of mediocrity, overachievement, and attaching their self-esteem to contests.

What about children who
are trained
to cooperate than compete? As others would believe, have greater potential to contribute as adults in the future. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every industry requires the principal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of collaborating with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
specializations to achieve their
overall
vision. A healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is welcome as long as there is mutual respect and understanding;
otherwise
, it may be detrimental to the individual, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, and organizations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Competition
based on the intent of beating the opponent tend to harbor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions and may cost more than the reward;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
on the grounds of refining one’s abilities to become the best in a particular craft have higher chances of receiving opportunities in the future.

I reckon that collaboration is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that should
be augmented
during childhood,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this stage of life is where most of our personality traits and habits
are formed
. The most successful leaders
are followed
, respected, and revered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their ability to work with and not against
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It they are able to work together at an early age to attain a common goal, the chances of creating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ripple effect are higher for future generations.
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IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taugh to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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