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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

In our society, many people believe that competition is a vital component in establishing a positive personality and behaviour. Parents for instance, always say that life is a constant battle and in order to become successful, training children to become competitive in the early stage of their lives will be helpful. However, some argue that competition is not that beneficial and might cause negative behaviours to children. In this essay, I will closely examine both views, and would state my own opinion regarding the matter. On the first side of the argument, people argue that competition is advantageous. In their point of view, structuring an environment under a context of competition will be challenging and will establish the need to strive and work harder to attain a particular goal that many aims. Therefore, competition enhances motivation and gives a sense of fulfilment. For instance, children in nursery schools join different contests and compete with other children. They try to do their best and maximises their resources to win the competition because of the reward that they may get from their parents or teachers. On the other hand, some people believe that the drawbacks outweigh the positive effects of competition and teaching the child to cooperate are better. They explain that cooperation allows children a chance to understand and adjust to the needs of other children, hence, training them to become more sensitive individuals in the future. For example, in our home, I have never felt that my mum encouraged competition between me and my younger sister. She always says that each has her own unique talents and skills that should be enhanced and be shared to one another. Hence, every time that we need to do some task, we would rather help one another than to compete. In summary, establishing a competitive and cooperative environment has its own merits. However, in my opinion, teaching children to cooperate is more beneficial in honing a mature and useful individual.
In our society,
many
people
believe that
competition
is a vital component in establishing a
positive
personality and
behaviour
. Parents
for instance
, always say that life is a constant battle and in order to become successful, training
children
to become competitive in the early stage of their
lives
will be helpful.
However
,
some
argue that
competition
is not that beneficial and might cause
negative
behaviours
to
children
. In this essay, I will
closely
examine both views, and would state my
own
opinion regarding the matter.

On the
first
side of the argument,
people
argue that
competition
is advantageous. In their point of view, structuring an environment under a context of
competition
will be challenging and will establish the need to strive and work harder to attain a particular goal that
many
aims.
Therefore
,
competition
enhances motivation and gives a sense of
fulfilment
.
For instance
,
children
in nursery schools
join
different
contests and compete with other
children
. They try to do their best and
maximises
their resources to win the
competition
because
of the reward that they may
get
from their parents or teachers.

On the other hand
,
some
people
believe that the drawbacks outweigh the
positive
effects of
competition
and teaching the child to cooperate are better. They
explain
that cooperation
allows
children
a chance to understand and adjust to the needs of other
children
,
hence
, training them to become more sensitive individuals in the future.
For example
, in our home, I have never felt that my mum encouraged
competition
between me and my younger sister. She always says that each has her
own
unique talents and
skills
that should
be enhanced
and
be shared
to one another.
Hence
, every time that we need to do
some
task, we would
rather
help
one another than to compete.

In summary, establishing a competitive and cooperative environment has its
own
merits.
However
, in my opinion, teaching
children
to cooperate is more beneficial in honing a mature and useful individual.
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IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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