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Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects. WrRk
There has been much controversy around the importance of studying food science and cooking. While some insist that students should place more emphasis on their key subjects, I would argue that culinary courses should take up a small part in the curriculum. On the one hand, the core disciplines standard at most schools are imperative for one’s future career. Because core curricula give students basic knowledge in many areas, graduates will have more tools to understand the complicated world around them. This knowledge can also pave the way for students to land a good job and make it easier for them to transit into a professional environment. For example, logical thinking acquired during math lessons and critical thinking fostered by literature will make for a confident individual, up for a challenge, able to problem solve, and ultimately able to make informed choices about their future. On the other hand, a solid understanding of food and cooking will benefit people immensely in many aspects. Firstly, scientific knowledge about food encourages students to take a health-conscious approach to their diet. Students can see the value of healthy eating habits and know which foods are detrimental to their physical health. Therefore, they are more likely to adopt a balanced diet to their dietary patterns rather than consuming junk food. Furthermore, equipping young people with the foundational knowledge of food science will build up their self-reliance and enable them to lead independent lives. Armed with a knowledge of food science, people will more capable of adjusting to living on their own because they can prepare nutritious home-made food without relying on readily available dished or processed food at convenience stores. In conclusion, I believe imparting knowledge of nutrition and food preparation is of paramount significance in leading a healthy and independent lifestyle. Thus, courses about food should be added to the school curriculum.
There has been much controversy around the importance of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
science and cooking. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should place more emphasis on their key subjects, I would argue that culinary courses should take up a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part in the curriculum.

On the one hand, the core disciplines standard at most schools are imperative for one’s future career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
core curricula give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas, graduates will have more tools to understand the complicated world around them. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
can
also
pave the way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to land a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for them to transit into a professional environment.
For example
, logical thinking acquired during math lessons and critical thinking fostered by literature will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
for a confident individual, up for a challenge, able to problem solve, and
ultimately
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
informed choices about their future.

On the other hand
, a solid understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and cooking will benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
immensely
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.
Firstly
, scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take a health-conscious approach to their diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the value of healthy eating habits and know which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are detrimental to their physical health.
Therefore
, they are more likely to adopt a balanced diet to their dietary patterns
rather
than consuming junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Furthermore
, equipping young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with the foundational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
science will build up their self-reliance and enable them to lead independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Armed with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
science,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will more capable of adjusting to living on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can prepare nutritious home-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
without relying on
readily
available dished or processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at convenience stores.

In conclusion
, I believe imparting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of nutrition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preparation is of paramount significance in leading a healthy and independent lifestyle.
Thus
, courses about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the school curriculum.
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IELTS essay Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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