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Some people think sports should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

Some people think sports should be banned. yDbal
It is often say that pastime are beneficial. Some people say that athletics dangerous games should be banned. Another opine that game are blessing and must have freedom to choose sports. On the one hand, human life is very precious. Many players love to dangerous games such as wrestling, car racing and so on. These games can be threat to the person life when performed it. To epitome, game like formula car racing where the rookie drives the car high speed and there are high changes of accident. It is hit the stands, not only hurting the drivers on the contrary also a number of people sitting in a stand. Hence, there are many players are die and a number of are injuries. It is a huge loss one person's families who die in such accidents and some have live their rest of life with permanent disability. On the other hand, more players like to go challenging and dangerous sport. They say that game give adrenaline rush. They want show to the world they are (outstanding) than normal people. To demonstrate, kickboxing which game is famous in Thailand where participants get serious injury during performing it. In addition, if dangerous fun banning and it will hurt to the countrymen. So, it is important carefully throughout the merits and demerits of such dangerous before taking any decision. To conclude, every pastime has little and more dangerous. It is up to individuals. I think athletics should not be banned.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
say that pastime are beneficial.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that athletics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
should
be banned
. Another opine that game are blessing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have freedom to choose sports.

On the one hand, human life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as wrestling, car racing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be threat to the person life when performed it. To epitome, game like formula car racing where the rookie drives the car high speed and there are high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of accident. It
is hit
the stands, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hurting the drivers
on the contrary
also
a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sitting in a stand.
Hence
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
players are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
and a number of are injuries. It is a huge loss one person's families who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
in such accidents and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their rest of life with permanent disability.

On the other hand
, more players like to go challenging and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
sport. They say that game give adrenaline rush. They want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to the world they are (outstanding) than normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To demonstrate, kickboxing which game is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in Thailand where participants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
serious injury during performing it.
In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
fun banning and it will hurt to the countrymen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
carefully
throughout the merits and demerits of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking any decision.

To conclude
, every pastime has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
. It is up to individuals. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
athletics should not
be banned
.
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IELTS essay Some people think sports should be banned.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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