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Some people think it would be a waste if government funding is used for supporting art and culture. They believe government funding should be used for other more important purposes. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people think it would be a waste if government funding is used for supporting art and culture. They believe government funding should be used for other more important purposes. 0wGql
Some people think that supporting art and culture are a waste of government money. They believe government funding should be invested for other more important purposes. I totally disagree with this statement First of all, art and culture play a crucial role in life which have a lot of meaningful means about history. Besides, they help educate children about their customs. Because of developing technology, some people have opportunity to approach new things instead of learning about cultures. Therefore, spending money on art and culture is an effective way to reserve the culture and tradition. For example, a lot of exhibition attracts a lot of people to come and know more about their culture. Moreover, people can get pleasure in going to see picture and music performance. Another point is that art and culture promote economic development. Each country has own traditions and customs with a special characteristic, which attracts a lot of people around the world. Hence, these tourists taking part in art venues and cultural events also brings economic benefits to country. When seeing a famous culture place, they not only spend their money serving own needs, but also contribute to economy’s country by eating in restaurants, resting in hotels and shopping for gifts. Therefore, government should invest money to improve some place of interest to attract more tourists to come. In conclusion, although some people don’t encourage government spend money on art and culture, I still reckon that the value of them may bring some advantages. I think in the future art and culture would be more attractive and many people pay attention to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
are a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding should
be invested
for other more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
purposes. I
totally
disagree with this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
statement


This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
play a crucial role in life which have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of meaningful means about history.
Besides
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
educate children about their customs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of developing technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have opportunity to approach new things
instead
of learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
Therefore
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is an effective way to reserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of exhibition attracts a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and know more about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pleasure in going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
picture and music performance.

Another point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
promote economic development. Each country has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditions and customs with a special characteristic, which attracts a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.
Hence
, these tourists taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
venues and cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
also
brings economic benefits to country. When seeing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
place, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
serving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
contribute to economy’s country by eating in restaurants, resting in hotels and shopping for gifts.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
place of interest to attract more tourists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, I
still
reckon that the value of them may bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
would be more attractive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay attention to them.
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IELTS essay Some people think it would be a waste if government funding is used for supporting art and culture. They believe government funding should be used for other more important purposes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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