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Some people think it is better to leave their country to work and to live better. Others think it is better to stay in their own country.

Some people think it is better to leave their country to work and to live better. Others think it is better to stay in their own country. myQn
Some would argue that people should leave own country to work and gain a better life, others believe that staying in their own country is better. While those who leave their country could meet a new culture, I believe that it is cheaper to living in their own country. On the one hand, more people tend to live in abroad countries to working and to get rid of difficult lifestyle. In other words, people, who want to move to oversea country, have a tendency to gain a well-paid job to get better him or her lifestyle. Additionally, they likely to meet a new culture from people who live in abroad. For example, I have a nephew, who live in the USA, often give me an advice to move to the USA, because, he says: “If you live an abroad, your outlook will improve, then you can fulfill any beneficial work what you want. ” On the other hand, staying in own hometown is more beneficial not only living, but also working. That is to say, If people live in their country, it would be cheaper than living in abroad, because people who stay in their own country don’t have to pay for visa and documents, which required from refugees. As well as, working in own hometown is beneficial for not only peoples, but also for government. For example, as an information which is given by New York Times, 72 percent of the world population choose living in their own hometown rather than abroad. I believe this option is preferable because people had better support their state by living and working there. To conclude, although living in another country is partly beneficial to improve the outlook, but it is cheaper and more preferable living in own hometown.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to work and gain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life, others believe that staying in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. While those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a new culture, I believe that it is cheaper to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

On the one hand, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of difficult lifestyle.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, have a tendency to gain a well-paid job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
him or her lifestyle.
Additionally
, they likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a new culture from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
For example
, I have a nephew,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the USA,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
give me
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "advice".
an advice
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the USA,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, he says: “If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, your outlook will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, then you can fulfill any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
work what you want. ”

On the other hand
, staying in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
That is
to say, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it would be cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stay in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for visa and documents, which required from refugees.
As well
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
For example
, as an information which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by New York Times, 72 percent of the world population choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. I believe this option is preferable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
support their state by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
there.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is partly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the outlook,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is cheaper and more preferable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
.
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IELTS essay Some people think it is better to leave their country to work and to live better. Others think it is better to stay in their own country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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