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According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion?

According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion? 207J
Recent study data has revealed that a growing number of people have started spending much more time while browsing the internet instead of spending quality time with real human beings. I am totally in agreement that individuals should restrict themselves from excessive usage of the internet has expanded the opportunities globally, however, they also have to devote time to their families and other members of society to develop their interpersonal skills. There are several reasons that why people are spending much time on the internet. First of all, by using this available option they not only making friends in their own country but also in other countries as well. Moreover, the increased internet usage leads to more global job opportunities hence, ultimately contributing to countries GDP. Not only this but people also exchange their festivals and value of their own culture. More internet usage has fostered communication between people and countries that we would not have thought possible in the not too distant past. While others contend that people should focus upon their interpersonal skills by interacting with other family members or surrounding people. As this will help them to learn from other person's personal experience, for instance, their all teachings, strategies, and ideas can be helping them in their current or future jobs. Above all, they will learn how to care for other human beings by spending good quality time with them. Hence, people should also consider the same while using the available online platforms extensively. To conclude, I believe that the internet has undoubtedly been beneficial, but there are good reasons to be concerned about social interaction in our societies. Therefore, people should maintain a balance between online life and contact with real human beings.
Recent study data has revealed that a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
while browsing the internet
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with real human beings. I am
totally
in agreement that individuals should restrict themselves from excessive usage of the internet has expanded the opportunities globally,
however
, they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
devote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their families and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members of society to develop their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

There are several reasons that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, by using this available option they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
making friends in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as well
.

Moreover
, the increased internet usage leads to more global job opportunities
hence
,
ultimately
contributing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
GDP. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
exchange their festivals and value of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture. More internet usage has fostered communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that we would not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
possible in the not too distant past.

While others contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should focus upon their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
family members or surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
person's personal experience,
for instance
, their all teachings, strategies, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
can be helping them in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
or future jobs.
Above all
, they will learn how to care for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
human beings by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
also
consider the same while using the available online platforms
extensively
.

To conclude
, I believe that the internet has
undoubtedly
been beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons to
be concerned
about social interaction in our societies.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should maintain a balance between online life and contact with real human beings.
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IELTS essay According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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