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Some people think governments should spend less money on arts and invest more in education.

Some people think governments should spend less money on arts and invest more in education. LLdjn
Many governments today allocate significant portions of their national budgets to the development and protection of arts. I think this is necessary and governments should not curb art budgets, although it is vital that more money is spent on education, as well. (42 words) Decreasing public financial support for art would definitely leave normal people with little or no access to original fine art pieces. High art is immensely sought and supported by the private sector in most parts of the world, with art galleries and agents investing heavily in famous professional artists so that they can sell their works to wealthy private collectors. Therefore, if the government stops investing in this sector, there will practically be no paintings, sculptures or other forms of art available for ordinary citizens to enjoy, which can not only diminish their pursuit of beauty and perfection, but also leave them more depressed and passive, even vulgar. (108 words) However, education plays a crucial role in the development of a country. More educated and skillful citizens can contribute greatly to a country’s progress since its industries, healthcare system and defense capabilities rely mostly on its progress in different fields of science and technology, which in turn requires skillful teachers, advanced computers and better-equipped laboratories. This means that the more money is spent on educational facilities and equipment and the more budget is allocated to supporting students and educators, the more likely it is for a country to develop. (87 words) In conclusion, I think governments ought to maintain their financial support for arts while increasing education budgets, ensuring both continued access to fine arts for their citizens and sustained development for their countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
allocate significant portions of their national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budgets
to the development and protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is necessary and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should not curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budgets
, although it is vital that more money
is spent
on education,
as well
. (42 words)

Decreasing public financial support for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no access to original fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
pieces. High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
immensely
sought and supported by the private sector in most parts of the world, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries and agents investing
heavily
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
professional artists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can sell their works to wealthy private collectors.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
investing in this sector, there will
practically
be no paintings, sculptures or other forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
available for ordinary citizens to enjoy, which can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
diminish their pursuit of beauty and perfection,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them more depressed and passive, even vulgar. (108 words)

However
, education plays a crucial role in the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. More educated and skillful citizens can contribute
greatly
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
progress since its industries, healthcare system and defense capabilities rely
mostly
on its progress in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of science and technology, which in turn requires skillful teachers, advanced computers and better-equipped laboratories. This means that the more money
is spent
on educational facilities and equipment and the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
is allocated
to supporting students and educators, the more likely it is for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to develop. (87 words)

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
ought to maintain their financial support for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
while increasing education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budgets
, ensuring both continued access to fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
for their citizens and sustained development for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS essay Some people think governments should spend less money on arts and invest more in education.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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