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Some people think competitions inside and outside of school is necessary for children to prepare for their future. Others think its bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some people think competitions inside and outside of school is necessary for children to prepare for their future. Others think its bad. Lr3pr
A competitive environment among children always brings the best out of them. Some people believe that competitions in or out of the school premises will strengthen them in all perspectives and help in their future endeavours, others think that as a negative aspect. In this essay, I will discuss both views and provide my opinion to support the former group with necessary examples. The supporters who think that competition would lead to negative impacts have two important reasons to prove it. First of all, they guess that it increases the rivalry between students and ruins their beautiful relationship. It's a proven fact that the majority of schools are observed with separate juvenile groups, for instance, cricket team players form independent groups to win their respective games. Adding to this, in the urge of passing the exam with flying colours, students may approach some cheating methods like copying in exams. A classic example of the recent incident in Hyderabad city board exams is proof, where most of the students copied while writing the board exams as they were conducted online. Having said that, the supporters on the other hand, including me, believe that competition brings out the best in children. If there is no healthy rivalry between kids it leads to laziness as they never take anything serious to achieve goals. As per the board of paediatrics, a brainchild needs continuous trigger with different activities otherwise leads to dullness. Apart from this, a healthy rivalry among juveniles builds relationships and team managing capabilities, which are essential for future prospects. An adult who understands the dynamics of their team and the opponent team will be able to crack positive results, for example, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, the captain of the Indian cricket team was always winning all games because of the competitive spirit he had, even though there is a strong opponent. In conclusion, while some people believe that the competitiveness among children inside or outside the school premises is very much required to be ready for the future, others think that it causes negative results. In my opinion, I strongly believe that a healthy rivalry to be established between people, which pushes them beyond boundaries to achieve greater things in life.
A competitive environment among children always brings the best out of them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that competitions in or out of the school premises will strengthen them in all perspectives and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in their future
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect. In this essay, I will discuss both views and provide my opinion to support the former group with necessary examples.

The supporters who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that competition would lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts have two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons to prove it.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they guess that it increases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rivalry
between students and ruins their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
relationship. It's a proven fact that the majority of schools
are observed
with separate juvenile groups,
for instance
, cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
players form independent groups to win their respective games. Adding to this, in the urge of passing the exam with flying
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
, students may approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cheating methods like copying in exams. A classic example of the recent incident in Hyderabad city board exams is proof, where most of the students copied while writing the board exams as they
were conducted
online.

Having said that, the supporters
on the other hand
, including me,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that competition brings out the best in children. If there is no healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rivalry
between kids it leads to laziness as they never take anything serious to achieve goals. As per the board of
Possible spelling mistake found.
paediatrics
, a brainchild needs continuous trigger with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities
otherwise
leads to dullness. Apart from this, a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rivalry
among juveniles builds relationships and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
managing capabilities, which are essential for future prospects. An adult who understands the dynamics of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and the opponent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
will be able to crack
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results,
for example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mahendra
Singh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhoni
, the captain of the Indian cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
was always winning all games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the competitive spirit he had,
even though
there is a strong opponent.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the competitiveness among children inside or outside the school premises is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much required to be ready for the future, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results. In my opinion, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rivalry
to
be established
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which pushes them beyond boundaries to achieve greater things in life.
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IELTS essay Some people think competitions inside and outside of school is necessary for children to prepare for their future. Others think its bad.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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