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Some people think children should have mobile phone while other disagree discuss both ideas and gibe opinion

Some people think children should have mobile phone while other disagree discuss both ideas and gibe opinion QLlJX
In this contemporary era, technology is developing a lot. Myraid of gadgets have been invented and mobile phone is one of them. People are divided on the argument that their children having a mobile phone is good or bad. I accord that with former viewpoint. However, in this essay i will delineate the both view point To commence with, there are plethora of reasons because of which people advocate the former view point. First and formost is with the help of mobile phone children can get easily access on internet and from internet he gets a lot of information regarding his studies, especially help in their class project and presentations. There are so many informative applications which are available on internet to help students like topper learning and many more. Thus this applications work like a personal tutor for them. Morover, some children live far away place from house owing to study. So, that time with the help of mobile phone they can easily communicate not only with their parents but also relatives Nevertheless, other argues that mobile phone is not good for them. Some children spend their most of the time on mobile phone by using some social media applications suchs as facebook, instragram. They become so much addict to this type of applications even they forget about their homework They prone to many health ailments like headache and become victime of many physical problems because they usually sit and spend time on mobile phone rather than playing some outdoor games To conclude, although the mobile takes a heavy toll on modus vivendi of children but if they use mobile phone more precisely it will be boom for them
In this contemporary era, technology is developing a lot.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myraid
of gadgets have
been invented
and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is one of them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are divided
on the argument that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
having a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. I accord that with former viewpoint.
However
, in this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
will delineate the both view point

To commence with, there are plethora of reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate the former view point.
First
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
formost
is with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
access on internet and from internet he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information regarding his studies,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
project and presentations. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
informative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
which are available on internet to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
students like topper learning and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
work like a personal tutor for them.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away place from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
owing to study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that time with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
they can
easily
communicate not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
relatives

Nevertheless
, other argues that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend their most of the time on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
by using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
Possible spelling mistake found.
suchs
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
instragram
. They become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much addict to this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
even they forget about their homework They prone to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health ailments like headache and become
Possible spelling mistake found.
victime
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physical problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
usually
sit and spend time on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
rather
than playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
outdoor
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
games


To conclude
, although the mobile takes a heavy toll on modus vivendi of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
more
precisely
it will be
Consider using a past participle here: "boomed".
boom
for them
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IELTS essay Some people think children should have mobile phone while other disagree discuss both ideas and gibe opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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