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Some people think children are more successful in foreign language studies than adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think children are more successful in foreign language studies than adults. with this opinion? g5GM7
Learning a language is a complex and strenuous process. It is believed by some people that youngsters learn a language far better than those who have reached their adult age. I agree to this point to some extent, but I also feel that adults can be superior learners too. I will shed light on my point of views in upcoming paragraphs before embarking on a conclusion. A child's mind is like a plain canvas, whatever is printed or painted on it stays forever throughout its lifespan. So when a child learns a foreign language, its fresh mind grasps the concepts of it without a hitch and more quickly than adults. Children can learn to play musical instruments, various games, deal with different subjects at school and speak a language or even two at a very young age. I wonder how much of this is social pressure and how much is genetic? Schools force them to take up different subjects. Their playmates encourage them to be good at sports. I am convinced that social pressure is also a significant factor behind their outstanding performance at learning a non native language. However, I disagree with those who say that adults cannot be as successful as youngsters at learning a language. Although adults do not have natural ability to grasp information quickly like children, they have skills and capabilities which compensate them for this. They can motivate themselves to achieve anything, and their motivation is much bigger than a child's. If they set a fixed time for practising a language, they can master it in some time. They build on different skills and experiences which can aid them in mastering a language. To recapitulate, learning a new language is a challenging task. However, children can learn a new language faster as compared to a mature person. I opine that adults can also do well in learning a foreign language if they have strong urge to do so.
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Learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a complex and strenuous process. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
far better than those who have reached their adult age. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this point to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can be superior learners too. I will shed light on my point of views in upcoming paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
embarking on a conclusion.

A child's mind is like a plain canvas, whatever
is printed
or painted on it stays forever throughout its lifespan.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, its fresh mind grasps the concepts of it without a hitch and more
quickly
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. Children can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to play musical instruments, various games, deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects at school and speak a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
or even two at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age. I wonder how much of this is social pressure and how much is genetic? Schools force them to take up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects. Their playmates encourage them to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at sports. I
am convinced
that social pressure is
also
a significant factor behind their outstanding performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non native
language.

However
, I disagree with those who say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
cannot be as successful as youngsters at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
do not have natural ability to grasp information
quickly
like children, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and capabilities which compensate them for this. They can motivate themselves to achieve anything, and their motivation is much bigger than a child's. If they set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
time for
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, they can master it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time. They build on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experiences which can aid them in mastering a language.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a challenging task.
However
, children can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
faster as compared to a mature person. I opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can
also
do well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
if they have strong urge to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
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IELTS essay Some people think children are more successful in foreign language studies than adults. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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