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Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extend do you agree?

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. jgkw
Nowadays, by growing rate of crimes, government concern about how to react to different forms of crimes. While locking down is one of the various approaches to deter offenders, other punishments such as probation, sentencing to pay fines and also community services has become outstanding. It is said that working in regard to community benefits is a better way and can substitute jails. I generally agree with this statement. Firstly, some offences are not that dangerous for the society and the criminal can compensate by doing a charity work. For example, if someone has done drug trafficking he can pay fines and also work in rehabilitation camps to help addicted people by joining their group sessions and trying to help them. In this case the criminal would understand the harm that he caused for the society and yet can be helpful to reduce the drawbacks of his previous behavior. In addition, prisoning cost a lot for the government and mostly the expenses of guarding the prison and feeding the inmates are provided by tax revenues, while this massive amount of money can be used in other sections, like helping the poor people to stop crimes related to poverty such as pickpocketing and shopliftings. On the other hand community services not only cost nothing for the government but also benefits it. Last but not least, in prison different criminals meet each other and after a while they can learn other types of crimes. As a consequence, after finishing their sentence they would come back to the society and start their offences again but this time as a hardened criminal. For instance, consider a person who has done a petty crime such as vandalism, if he is locked down he may be kept in a cell with a serious criminal, like bank robber. After being released the former one knows bank robbery plans and if find a chance may commit the crime. In conclusion, community services can substitute imprisonment, due to the fact that some crimes are not that dangerous and the criminal is not harmful for the society, imprisonment cost a lot for the governments and also offenders may learn other types of crimes while being locked down.
Nowadays, by growing rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
concern about how to react to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. While locking down is one of the various approaches to deter offenders,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
punishments such as probation, sentencing to pay fines and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
services has become outstanding. It
is said
that working in regard to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
benefits is a better way and can substitute jails. I
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
are not that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
can compensate by doing a charity work.
For example
, if someone has done drug trafficking he can pay fines and
also
work in rehabilitation camps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
addicted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by joining their group sessions and trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
In this case
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
would understand the harm that he caused for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
yet
can be helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the drawbacks of his previous behavior.

In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
prisoning
cost a lot for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
mostly
the expenses of guarding the prison and feeding the inmates
are provided
by tax revenues, while this massive amount of money can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sections, like helping the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
related to poverty such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
pickpocketing
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
shopliftings
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
services not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cost nothing for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
benefits it.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, in prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and after a while they can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. As a consequence, after finishing their sentence they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this time as a hardened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
.
For instance
, consider a person who has done a petty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as vandalism, if he
is locked
down he may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in a cell with a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
, like bank robber. After
being released
the former one knows bank robbery plans and if find a chance may commit the crime.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
services can substitute imprisonment, due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are not that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is not harmful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, imprisonment cost a lot for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
also
offenders may learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
while
being locked
down.
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IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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