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One of the Consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

One of the Consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? l20K
Modern medical institutions and research in the field of health care have made a great discovery and found a cure for deadly diseases as a result, people live much longer than in ancient times. Some people believe that the benefits of this development outweigh the cons First, with the development of technology in the field of medicine, a medicine and a vaccine against dangerous deadly diseases have been invented, and this reduces the mortality rate of people in the country. With an increase in life expectancy, people can contribute more to the development of the country's economy and society. For example, people with a lot of experience and at an old age could teach children a lot or open a business for themselves secondly modern types of treatment can be expensive and therefore not everyone can afford it But nevertheless despite the price of treatment it allows a person to fully recover from diseases such as chronic. H For example, when a person is diagnosed with cancer, they perform chemotherapy as part of their treatment procedure, once the treatment passes, the radiation lasts for a long period of time in their body. The cost of this treatment method is also too high. But all these expensive procedures will help people extend their lives and spend more time with their loved ones To sum up I believe that the development of medicine brings great positive consequences to people preserving their precious lives and gives them the opportunity to be with their family even longer and this is the most important thing
Modern medical institutions and research in the field of health care have made a great discovery and found a cure for deadly diseases
as a result
,
people
live
much longer than in ancient times.
Some
people
believe that the benefits of this
development
outweigh the
cons


First
, with the
development
of technology in the field of medicine, a medicine and a vaccine against
dangerous
deadly diseases have
been invented
, and this
reduces
the mortality rate of
people
in the country. With an increase in life expectancy,
people
can contribute more to the
development
of the country's economy and society.
For example
,
people
with
a lot of
experience and at an
old
age could teach children a lot or open a business for
themselves


secondly
modern types of
treatment
can be expensive and
therefore
not everyone can afford it
But
nevertheless
despite the price of
treatment
it
allows
a person to
fully
recover from diseases such as chronic. H
For example
, when a person
is diagnosed
with cancer, they perform chemotherapy as part of their
treatment
procedure, once the
treatment
passes, the radiation lasts for a long period of time in their body. The cost of this
treatment
method is
also
too high.
But
all these expensive procedures will
help
people
extend their
lives
and spend more time with their
loved
ones


To sum up I believe that the
development
of medicine brings great
positive
consequences to
people
preserving their precious
lives
and gives them the opportunity to be with their family even longer and this is the most
important
thing
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IELTS essay One of the Consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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