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Some people that it is normal to spend money on music.Agree or Disagree ?

Some people that it is normal to spend money on music. Agree or Disagree? g5WO7

In this generaton, music has bemcome quite eminent among adolescents, however, It seems like most of them put all their eggs in one basket by spending money on one thing: music. First, there are plenty of applications could be downloaded to listen to any types of song. It is not necessary to purchase an album of a certain idol, if it can be installed free on the mobile. Second, one can sing karaoke with friends instead of going to a concert and waking up the next day having a headache. Moreover, it is quite noisy in the concert as a result of many fans. Alas, it is more expensive than the karaoke. Third, most of these celebrity do not care about their fans. They have a private life, identity, and personality. Subsequently music is a profession to them and they earn money from it while their fans keep on bankrupting by spending on it. Later on, they will not be able to pay for their university wages, leading them to have a part-time job. Fourth, as there are a lot of consequences, misleadng career choice. For example, a fan who idolizes a certain artist maybe striving to meet him or her. Occasionally, that fan would waste money on music classes because they desire to be like their artists. Instead of doing that, focusing on acheiving profession is mandatory for self-fulfillment. Finally, I would say that music is the key to our emotions including: sadness, happiness, stress, relief, and anger. In spite of that it should not be used as a material to buy.

In this Possible spelling mistake found.generationgeneratorgenera ton
generaton
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 has Possible spelling mistake found.become
bemcome
 quite eminent among adolescents, however
, It seems like most of them put all their eggs in one basket by spending money on one thing: music.

First
, there are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:abundance
plenty
 of applications could be downloaded
 to listen to any types of song.

It is not necessary to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
purchase
 an album of a certain idol, if it can be installed
 free on the mobile.

Second, one can sing karaoke with friends instead
 of going to a concert and waking up the next
 day having a headache. Moreover
, it is quite noisy in the concert as a result
 of This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 fans. Alas, it is more expensive than the karaoke.

Third, most of Did you mean "this celebrity" or "these celebrities"?this celebritythese celebrities
these celebrity
 do not care about their fans. They have a private life, identity, and personality. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Subsequently,
Subsequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 is a profession to Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).them, and
them and
 they earn money from it while their fans This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retain
keep
 on bankrupting by spending on it. Later on, they will not be able to pay for their university wages, leading them to have a part-time job.

Fourth, as there are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
 consequences, Possible spelling mistake found.misleading
misleadng
 career choice. For example
, a fan who idolizes a certain artist maybe striving to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :attain
meet
 him or her. Occasionally
, that fan would waste money on You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 classes This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 they desire to be like their artists. Instead
 of doing that, focusing on Possible spelling mistake found.achieving
acheiving
 profession is mandatory for self-fulfillment.

Finally
, I would say that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 is the key to our emotions including: sadness, happiness, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accentuate
stress
, relief, and anger. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:notwithstanding
In spite of
 that it should not be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploited
used
 as a material to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :purchase
buy
. 