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Some people spend a lot of money on weddings. Why do they do this? Do you think it is good to spend a lot of money on weddings?

Some people spend a lot of money on weddings. Why do they do this? Do you think it is good to spend a lot of money on weddings? wGmE
These days, it has become a fashion for a number of people to pour an enormous amount of money into the wedding ceremonies. This essay discusses why they tend to do so and reasons why I strongly disagree in spending lavishly on such functions. Wanting the special occasion to be grand as well as remembered and the intention of showing off the wealth to the society are perhaps two major purposes for the unacceptable expenditures. The young couples, nowadays, often get overwhelmed with the marriage preparation and they want their special day to be glorious and cherished for a long time. Henceforth, they decide to purchase much expensive clothes and ornaments to keep themselves bright, and also appealing. In addition, the wealthy parents, in particular ought to show off their richness to the society. For example, in traditional countries like India, weddings go on for several days like festivals with thousands of guest being invited to bless the bride and the groom. This way, an ample amount of money is unnecessarily being spent of weddings. Even though weddings are notable events, I strongly believe spending a huge amount of money on them is needless. Hosting a grand event involves wasting of number of resources such as, man-power and electicity. Also, in these mordern days, people add more fancy foods which costs more in the wedding dinner and a large quantity of them get wasted and thrown in the garbage. This extra food can serve the poor. So it is better for the people to not waste their wealth in such events and rather invest them usefully. To conclude, many people are lured to spend too much money on wedding functions. However, for the betterment of themselves and the society they should intend to save the money otherwise put them in good investments.
These days, it has become a fashion for a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pour an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
ceremonies. This essay discusses why they tend to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and reasons why I
strongly
disagree in spending
lavishly
on such functions.

Wanting the special occasion to be grand
as well
as remembered and the intention of showing off the wealth to the society are perhaps two major purposes for the unacceptable expenditures. The young couples, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
overwhelmed with the marriage
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
preparation and
they want their special day to be glorious and cherished for a long time. Henceforth, they decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
much expensive clothes and ornaments to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves bright, and
also
appealing.
In addition
, the wealthy parents,
in particular
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their richness to the society.
For example
, in traditional countries like India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
go on for several days like festivals with thousands of guest
being invited
to bless the bride and the groom. This way, an ample amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
unnecessarily
being spent
of weddings.

Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
are notable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, I
strongly
believe spending a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on them is needless. Hosting a grand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
involves wasting of number of resources such as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-power and
Possible spelling mistake found.
electicity
.
Also
, in these
Possible spelling mistake found.
mordern
days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more fancy foods which costs more in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
dinner and a large quantity of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
wasted and thrown in the garbage. This extra food can serve the poor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is better for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to not waste their wealth in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
rather
invest them
usefully
.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lured
to spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
functions.
However
, for the betterment of themselves and the society they should intend to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
otherwise
put them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
investments.
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IELTS essay Some people spend a lot of money on weddings. Why do they do this? Do you think it is good to spend a lot of money on weddings?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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