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Some people spend a lot of money on things that are unnecessary while so many people in this world do no even get anything to eat why do you think people What can be done to stop them from doing so ?

Some people spend a lot of money on things that are unnecessary while so many people in this world do no even get anything to eat why do you think people What can be done to stop them from doing so? Lm68
Food plays an essential role in the survival. Some masses huge amount of money in unvaluable things whilest, poor people do not have anything to' eat. There are many reasons and also have some solutions of it. I will cast light on this statement in upcoming paragraphs. There are sevral reasons behind it why people spend lot of money in these product, which arenot necessary to begin with nowadays in this competitive Era person believe Moin status so they buy that things which are not important but only to show of furthermore Technology is a factor in deed people are totally rely on the technology so they want all facilities which are not crucial. in the last but not least people are busy in their work so they do not have time to stay with family and children so they that is why they fulfill their absence with many things for example they buy lot of toys for Children's and some technical things for family. if there is a lock so there is a key every individual have money to help the poor so they can eat and it is also the responsibility of government to provide food and shelter to their citizens moreover government should hear to open some non government Fund Organisation to help Starving people in addition to the richest can also provide some eatable things to purest instead of wasting money on unnecessary objects. In conclusion every coin has two sides if there is a problem so there is a solution it is the responsibility of the both Government and wealthy to have the people who cannot buy food.
Food plays an essential role in the survival.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
masses huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
unvaluable
things
Possible spelling mistake found.
whilest
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have anything to' eat. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons and
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions of it. I will cast light on this statement in upcoming paragraphs.

There are
Possible spelling mistake found.
sevral
reasons behind it why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
Did you mean "this product" or "these products"?
these product
, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
arenot
necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with nowadays in this competitive Era person believe
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moin
status
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that things which are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
of
furthermore
Technology is a factor in deed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
totally
rely on the technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they want all facilities which are not crucial.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy in their work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have time to stay with family and children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
that is
why they fulfill their absence with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
for example
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
toys for Children's and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technical things for family.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
there is a lock
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is a key every individual have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can eat and it is
also
the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to provide food and shelter to their citizens
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should hear to open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Fund
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to starve" or "starve".
Starving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in addition
to the richest can
also
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
eatable things to purest
instead
of wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on unnecessary objects.

In conclusion
every coin has two sides if there is a problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is a solution it is the responsibility of the both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and wealthy to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food.
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IELTS essay Some people spend a lot of money on things that are unnecessary while so many people in this world do no even get anything to eat why do you think people What can be done to stop them from doing so?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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