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Some people says that we should close the ice cream parlours for better health do you agree or disagree

Some people says that we should close the ice cream parlours for better health gAElg
It is says by some that closing Ice cream planneris a better To be healthy in life I completely Disagree with this that that closing parlour is not the solution in The coming paragraph I will discuss about this situation. Ice cream parlour is not the solution to close excuse lot of healthy items it is completely mixed of milk First and Foremost if the ice cream parlour has been closed the farmers can easily lose their evening because the ice cream his computer with milk only. For instant if farmer who do not supply milk to a nice cream parlour then he will be completely lost and he don’t know what to do about that milk in additionally ice cream is contends of heavy immunity and healthy life it can decrease the heat in the body by eating the ice creams and moreover it can be added in different type of dishes also. Secondly I believe that skin do not have any impact on any diseases is a complete of milk products which makes adding some milky creams like vanilla and chocolate Finally if the company is lockout employees in this company will be highly suffer from this seller base has a result there will be no one ice cream that can be eaten by anyone on this earth the business of all the company and the milky products will be completely down without any doubt. To summer up. I penned down I would like to repeat that closing ice cream parlours is not the solution for decreasing the types of diseases ice cream parlour has a lot of which give healthy.
It is says by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that closing Ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
Possible spelling mistake found.
planneris
a better To be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
in life I completely Disagree with this that that closing
Possible spelling mistake found.
parlour
is not the solution in The coming paragraph I will
Did you mean simply "discuss this"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about this
situation.

Ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
Possible spelling mistake found.
parlour
is not the solution to close excuse
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
items it is completely mixed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
First
and Foremost if the ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
Possible spelling mistake found.
parlour
has
been closed
the farmers can
easily
lose their evening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
his computer with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. For instant if farmer who do not supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
to a nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
Possible spelling mistake found.
parlour
then he will be completely
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lost and
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "doesn’t", "didn’t".
don’t
know what to do about that milk in
additionally
ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
is contends of heavy immunity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life it can decrease the heat in the body by eating the ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creams
and
moreover
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of dishes
also
.

Secondly
I believe that skin do not have any impact on any diseases is
The phrase 'a complete of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a complete of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
products which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
adding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
milky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creams
like vanilla and chocolate

Finally
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is lockout employees in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will be
highly
Consider using a past participle here: "suffered".
suffer
from this seller base has a result there will be no one ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
that can
be eaten
by anyone on this earth the business of all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and the milky products will be completely down without any doubt.

To summer up. I penned down I would like to repeat that closing ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
Possible spelling mistake found.
parlours
is not the solution for decreasing the types of diseases ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
Possible spelling mistake found.
parlour
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
which give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
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IELTS essay Some people says that we should close the ice cream parlours for better health

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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