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Some people says that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Other says that economic growth should be stopped immediately to stop damaging environmental . Discuss both and give your opinion.

Some people says that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Other says that economic growth should be stopped immediately to stop damaging environmental. O8bd
It is irrefutable that wealthy society brings more benefits and opportunities for individuals as well as for organisations. Certain people opine that, in order to alleviate problem of poverty, the economic development is concern while rest of the individual believe that prevention of environment from economic growth is necessary. So further in this essay I will discuss both former and later view before giving my opinion. According to former view, development of wealthy society play imperative role in elimination of poverty. Firstly, more and more contributions from organisations and industries are important to develop sustainable wealthy society. Furthermore, this will creat the hugh demand of employees and if majority of people achieve job than it will ultimately reduce the problem of poverty. For instance, it is evident that unemployed people are not able to fulfil their basic needs in this materialistic society thus they will easily turn towards committing crimes. So the development of strong economy alleviate such crucial issues. As per later view, it is true that economic growth have huge impact on well-being of environment. In addition, the industrialisation and urbanisation cause major problems. Moreover, this cause effect like deforestation by cutting more trees to built factories, similarly, air pollution and water pollution by dumping waste in water as well as by emitting toxic fumes in the air. For example, in city Agra, due to industrial establishment, the colour of famous monument taj turn to pale from milky white. So increased development in order to maintain economy should be stop. To conclude, even though, economic growth cause certain detrimental effects on environment by in my opinion the benefits of wealthy society are more as it not only reduce problem of poverty and amount of crime rates but also creat opportunities for people.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
brings more benefits and opportunities for individuals
as well
as for
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that, in order to alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is concern while rest of the individual believe that prevention of environment from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
further
in this essay I will discuss both former and later view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving my opinion. According to former view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
play imperative role in elimination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
Firstly
, more and more contributions from
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and industries are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to develop sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Furthermore
, this will
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creat
the
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hugh
demand of employees and if
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieve job than it will
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
For instance
, it is evident that unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to fulfil their basic needs in this materialistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
thus
they will
easily
turn towards committing crimes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of strong economy alleviate such crucial issues. As per later view, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth have huge impact on well-being of environment.
In addition
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
cause major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Moreover
, this cause effect like deforestation by cutting more trees to built factories,
similarly
, air pollution and water pollution by dumping waste in water
as well
as by emitting toxic fumes in the air.
For example
, in city Agra, due to industrial establishment, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
monument
Possible spelling mistake found.
taj
turn to pale from milky white.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in order to maintain economy should be
Did you mean "stopped"?
stop
.
To conclude
,
even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth cause certain detrimental effects on environment by in my opinion the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and amount of crime rates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people says that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Other says that economic growth should be stopped immediately to stop damaging environmental.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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