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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? jO7d
Most humans believe that the secret mantra to living a successful life is accumulation of massive amount of wealth. Success is an abstract emotion, one can never be fulfilled with any amount of wealth they acquire, because there is no limit or a bar set to achieve monetary goals. It is certain, that attaining materialistic goals in life can only lead to momentary happiness. Happiness is an inner work that can be achieved through other mediums. This essay will discuss how some people believe that achieving monetary goals is the ultimate success but it precisely is not the only way. In today’s world, possessing an empire of wealth can be more stressful than having peace of mind. Owning massive capital comes with responsibilities because it requires effort to maintain the wealth rolling; moreover, if you cannot handle the collected wealth strategically, it can also be lost over night. For example, in 2007 Kingfisher Airlines founder Vijay Mallya lost his capital and he announced bankruptcy due to some malpractices caught by the CIA. Thus, having a lot of money should never be the ultimate goal to become happy. Happiness is an emotion that can be felt in the little things. One can be immensely happy by living a simple life; kindness, helping others, donating, and living a life without fears are a few genuine ways to be happy in life. For example, the world-famous author Robin Sharma wrote a book called ‘The monk who sold his Ferrari’ based on a factual story of a business man who gave up worldly pleasures to become a monk. To conclude, money can be regarded as materialistic possession; it can be lost in a blink of an eye and should not be relied for feeling fleeting happiness. Therefore, we must spread awareness about living life and doing things which bring us joy rather than believing monetary gains is the ultimate source of success.
Most humans believe that the secret mantra to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is accumulation of massive amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
. Success is an abstract emotion, one can never
be fulfilled
with any amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
they acquire,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no limit or a bar set to achieve monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
. It is certain, that attaining materialistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead to momentary happiness. Happiness is an inner work that can
be achieved
through other mediums. This essay will discuss how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that achieving monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
is the ultimate success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
precisely
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, possessing an empire of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
can be more stressful than having peace of mind. Owning massive capital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with responsibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it requires effort to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
rolling;
moreover
, if you cannot handle the collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
strategically
, it can
also
be lost
Did you mean the adjective or adverb "overnight" (i.e., for or during the entire night)?
over night
.
For example
, in 2007 Kingfisher Airlines founder Vijay
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mallya
lost his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
capital and
he announced bankruptcy due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
malpractices caught by the CIA.
Thus
, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money should never be the ultimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
to become happy.

Happiness is an emotion that can
be felt
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
things. One can be
immensely
happy by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
; kindness, helping others, donating, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without fears are a few genuine ways to be happy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, the world-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
author Robin Sharma wrote a book called ‘The monk who sold his Ferrari’ based on a factual story of a business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who gave up worldly pleasures to become a monk.

To conclude
, money can
be regarded
as materialistic possession; it can
be lost
in a blink of an eye and should not be
The verb 'to rely' requires the preposition '(up)on': "relied on".
relied
for feeling fleeting happiness.
Therefore
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spread awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and doing things which bring us joy
rather
than believing monetary gains is the ultimate source of success.
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IELTS essay Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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