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some people say the main way to be happy in life is by having lot of money? how might having lot of money make people happy? what other things in life can make people happy

Nowadays, happiness index of life is often equated with the terms of having insane amount of cash. However, financial affluent people might be much happier than not so well-to-do class of society, there are various others factors such having a close-knit families and good health which also accounts for the main reasons for being happy. To begin with, having huge sum of finance enables a person to afford a better quality of life. Such people are much more efficient in taking care of themselves and their dependents because they can buy whatever they want like better houses, extravagant holidays and international education and many more things. For instance, I have a friend who is insanely rich keeps on going on vacations to exotic locations every now and then, and he and his family is profoundly happy. In contrast, not so well off class most of the time struggles to give their family what they want. As a result, there might be constant conflicts among the family members or some sort of stress in that person’s mind. Hence impacting the happiness quotient. Although, Money plays a crucial role in determining a person’s happiness, having a lovable family and better health might be the key factors apart from richness. A person might be rich but if there is no one to share their thoughts or feelings may result in loneliness. Sometimes this might leads to depression. Furthermore, A healthy person will be able to enjoy the life much more aptly then a relatively unhealthy one. In conclusion, Money can give the ability to live the life as we want by indulging oneself’ in surplus luxury whereas other reasons such as functional- family and being healthy also accounts for having a happy life.
Nowadays, happiness index of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
equated with the terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
insane amount of cash.
However
, financial affluent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be much happier than not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
well-to-do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of society, there are various others factors such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a close-knit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health which
also
accounts for the main reasons for being happy.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
huge sum of finance enables a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to afford a better quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are much more efficient in taking care of themselves and their dependents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
whatever they want like better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, extravagant holidays and international education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more things.
For instance
, I have a friend who is
insanely
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on going on vacations to exotic locations every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then, and he and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
profoundly
happy.
In contrast
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
well off
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
most of the time struggles to give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
what they want.
As a result
, there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be constant conflicts among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
mind.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
impacting the happiness quotient.

Although, Money plays a crucial role in determining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
happiness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a lovable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and better health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be the key factors apart from richness. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if there is no one to share their thoughts or feelings may result in loneliness.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
leads to depression.
Furthermore
, A healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will be able to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
much more
aptly
then a
relatively
unhealthy one.

In conclusion
, Money can give the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as we want by indulging oneself’ in surplus luxury whereas other reasons such as functional-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and being healthy
also
accounts for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay some people say the main way to be happy in life is by having lot of money? how might having lot of money make people happy? what other things in life can make people happy

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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