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Getting a Degree is Better Than Working Straight Into a Job

It is a normal occurrence nowadays for people to obtain their degrees before enlisting themselves in a workforce that they like. However, some might argue that the best way to obtain a self-sustaining job is go straight into work without needing an academic qualification. Therefore, to settle this ongoing debate, there are a few things that we need to point out in both sides. Studying for a university degree sounds like a viable option because jobs opportunities are hard to come by without a scroll that determines your academic qualification in a field that you study 3 to 4 years in. High-ranked positions in big companies are usually held by professionals who have at least a degree in the resume. The main argument of this is degrees are an important determining factor whether a job applicant has the necessary knowledge and skills to do well in a job that they want. These highly-renowned companies would not want to take a risk in a person that has not studying up until the tertiary level. Therefore, getting a degree would be a great option if we would want to opt for an occupation that pays well. The other side of the argument discusses that going straight into a work would be more beneficial. If people do this more often, they would gain more working experience than someone in their age if they opted to go to a university instead. the valuable working experience might be the decisive factor as firms nowadays likes it when an applicant has prior experience in a certain field. Other than that, you would earn more money in the same timeframe without having the need to allocate a certain percentage of your income towards university fees. Therefore, this would be a great option if we would like to want quick income after we graduate from secondary education. Overall, I agree with the hypothesis that gaining a university first before working would be better than working straight into a job. The main reason behind this is that university experience would make someone more versatile especially in an age where jobs are hard to come by.
It is a normal occurrence nowadays for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to obtain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
enlisting themselves in a workforce that they like.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might argue that the best way to obtain a self-sustaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is go straight into work without needing an academic qualification.
Therefore
, to settle this ongoing debate, there are a few things that we need to point out in both sides.

Studying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
sounds like a viable option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
opportunities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by without a scroll that determines your academic qualification in a field that you study 3 to 4 years in. High-ranked positions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
usually
held by professionals who have at least a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in the resume. The main argument of this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
determining factor whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
applicant has the necessary knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to do well in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
. These
highly
-renowned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
in a person that has not studying up until the tertiary level.
Therefore
, getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
would be a great option if we would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to opt for an occupation that pays well.

The other side of the argument discusses that going straight into a work would be more beneficial. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do this more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, they would gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
than someone in their age if they opted to go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
instead
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
might be the decisive factor as firms nowadays likes it when an applicant has prior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in a certain field. Other than that, you would earn more money in the same timeframe without having the need to allocate a certain percentage of your income towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fees.
Therefore
, this would be a great option if we would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
quick income after we graduate from secondary education.

Overall
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the hypothesis that gaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
would be better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
straight into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The main reason behind this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
someone more versatile
especially
in an age where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by.
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IELTS essay Getting a Degree is Better Than Working Straight Into a Job

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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