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Some people say that the Olympic Games no longer play a role in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the Olympic Games no longer play a role in the 21st century. j68p
It is argued that Olympic Games does not hold it's place in this century. This essay totally disagrees with this statement because it actually creates a happy and cheerful environment amongst people and countries and encourages athletes all around the globe to train harder to take part in it. Olympic Games actually creates a joyful atmosphere as many countries take part in it. It actually brings people from different background together and the whole world are able to enjoy and encourage their respective country to succeed at it. In other words, it is a game which people awaits so they can go around the organising country to visit and have a good time. For example, during the Olympic Games in UK, the London Stadium was completely booked prior to the event and it was reported that many could not get tickets. Olympic Games are important to athletes because it is a big ocassion for them to show th ewhole world what they are best at. These athletes train regularly just to take part in such kind of activities to honour their country and make themselves proud since this is a big achievement for them to take part in it. Olympic Games can be a lifetime oppotunity to turn these athletes into heros because it has always been known to be a great platform for them to perform at their level best. For example, a renowed athlete such as Usain Bolt has made a name for himself; the fastest man in the world in the 100 metres at the Olympic Games. In conclusion, Olympic Games hold an important place in today's era because it brings people together and create joyful moments between countries and it is actually a major platform for several athletes to perform and reap results from their years of training and patience.
It
is argued
that Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
does not hold
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
place in this century. This essay
totally
disagrees with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it actually creates a happy and cheerful environment amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
all around the globe to train harder to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in it.

Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
actually creates a joyful atmosphere as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in it. It actually brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
background together and the whole world are able to enjoy and encourage their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to succeed at it.
In other words
, it is a game which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
awaits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can go around the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to visit and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time.
For example
, during the Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
in UK, the London Stadium was completely booked prior to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
and it
was reported
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tickets.

Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
ocassion
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Possible spelling mistake found.
th ewhole
world what they are best at. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
train
regularly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in such kind of activities to
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves proud since this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
achievement for them to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in it. Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
can be a lifetime
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppotunity
to turn these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
into
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "heroes", the plural form of the noun 'hero'?
heros
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has always
been known
to be a great platform for them to perform at their level best.
For example
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
renowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Usain
Bolt has made a name for himself; the fastest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in the world in the 100
Possible spelling mistake. 'metres' is British English.
metres
at the Olympic Games.

In conclusion
, Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
hold an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together and create joyful moments between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it is actually a major platform for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
to perform and reap results from their years of training and patience.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the Olympic Games no longer play a role in the 21st century.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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