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Some people say that the most important thing about being rich is that it gives you the opportunity to give back or help the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that the most important thing about being rich is that it gives you the opportunity to give back or help the poor. with this statement? g550A
To become rich is not an easy task for individuals in their life they had to work hard and face many problems to being a rich person. I completely agree with the given statement which states that being rich has more opportunities to help poor people. In this essay, I tell some examples to support my view. firstly, rich people easily help poor people by creating a new charity. it helps poor people with their children education-related work as well as some times charity provides shelter to the poor people. In addition, some charity provides food for the poor people. For instance, Many Bollywood celebrities have organised various types of charities which is extremely helpful to poor individuals. secondly, rich people have more ability to create their own business which creates employment for many people, so that poor people have the opportunity to get and job and provide food and necessary things to the family. For instance, take an example of a construction of a new building, it will generate a plethora number of jobs during the construction and also after construction is completed. poor people can work hard in this type of company and become rich in their life and their children get a better education for their life. To sum up, I can say that money is an important factor in everyone life. but, rich people have more ways to help the poor people such as, by creating opportunities for the unemployed and provide free food to poor people.
To become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
is not an easy task for individuals in their life they had to work
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hard
and face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems to being a
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rich
person. I completely
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agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement which states that being
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rich
has more opportunities to
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help
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poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this essay, I
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tell
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some
examples to support my view.

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firstly
,
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rich
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people
easily
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help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by creating a new
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charity
.
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it
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helps
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poor
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people
with their children education-related work
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times
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charity
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provides
shelter to the
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poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
,
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some
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charity
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provides
food for the
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poor
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people
.
For instance
,
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Many
Bollywood celebrities have
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
various types of
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charities
which is
extremely
helpful to
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poor
individuals.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
,
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rich
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people
have more ability to create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business which creates employment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
,
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so
that
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poor
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people
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
and job and
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provide
food and necessary things to the family.
For instance
, take an example of a construction of a new building, it will generate a plethora number of jobs during the construction and
also
after construction
is completed
.
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poor
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people
can work
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hard
in this type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and become
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rich
in their life and their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better education for their life.

To sum up, I can say that money is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in everyone life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
,
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rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more ways to
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help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as, by creating opportunities for the unemployed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
free food to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the most important thing about being rich is that it gives you the opportunity to give back or help the poor. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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