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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts? VBBg7
Without any doubt, art is considered as indispensable part of tradition in all over the world. whereas, in the contemporary era people's taste has swung towards the other fields namely science, technology and business. There are plethora of reasons behind this notion, it will be discussed in subsequent paragraphs along with measures. To commence with, there are various possible factors which are held responsible for this issue. One of the most contimgent reason is involvement of Technology such as internet. Which has increased manifolds due to in the influence of new technological gadget. People cannot live without it and they think that without these gizmos life is incomplete like as a tree without leafe, it is a big invention of science. Moreover in the contemporary era, people do not have free time for because of big competition in business field and they are always busy to get bread and butter for their further life. Today's people think that if they have a money, they can survive better in this word without money cannot stay for long time and art is a waste of time these two reasons are the cause for least interest of people in art. However, the solutions are not simple but the collaborative endeavour by both the government and the people can reduce some of the problem. One such action could be awareness. There is a dire need creating awareness by mass media about the art that how it is represent their culture and tradition value. Moreover government should be organised the art competition such as dance printing and many more, where students can show their hidden talent as well as art subject should be compulsory in school and parents should inspire children to take part in art classes, it would be win and win situation not only for the government but also the children's development. To conclude, after all the discussion I would like to saying that many steps should be taken to tackle this issue. It could be solved by the joint efforts by both the nation and the people not by one person.
Without any doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is considered
as indispensable part of tradition in all over the world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, in the contemporary era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's taste has swung towards the other fields
namely
science, technology and business. There are plethora of reasons behind this notion, it will
be discussed
in subsequent paragraphs along with measures. To commence with, there are various possible factors which
are held
responsible for this issue. One of the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
contimgent
reason is involvement of Technology such as internet.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
has increased manifolds due to in the influence of new technological gadget.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that without these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "gizmos'" or "gizmo's"?
gizmos
life is incomplete like as a tree without
Possible spelling mistake found.
leafe
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
invention of science.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
in the contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have free time for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
competition in business
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
field and
they are always busy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bread and butter for their
further
life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if they have a money, they can survive better in this word without money cannot stay for long time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a waste of time these two reasons are the cause for least interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in art.

However
, the solutions are not simple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the collaborative
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
by both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
problem. One such action could be awareness. There is a dire need creating awareness by mass media about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
that how it is
Consider using a past participle here: "represented".
represent
their culture and tradition value.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
competition such as dance printing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, where students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their hidden talent
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
subject should be compulsory in school and parents should inspire children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
classes, it would be
Consider using a past participle here: "won".
win
and win situation not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the children's development.
To conclude
,
after all
the discussion I would like to saying that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps should
be taken
to tackle this issue. It could
be solved
by the joint efforts by both the nation and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not by one person.
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IELTS essay Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
349 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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