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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of the particular species of plants and animals.Other say that there are more important environmental problems.Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of the particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. YrOK
We can clearly see that our environment has been going worse day by day. There are two main ideas about environmental problems that the first one is the loss of plants or animals and the other one is that there are more important issues. To my mind, People are facing with different environmental issues even though humans are the main responsible behind all of them. First of all, it is undeniably true that there are lots of sides of environmental issues. If we are discussing about carbon emission, we should focus on air pollution which is caused by human beings in order to get nuclear energy etc. We can find a lot of researches to solve this problem in the future. Because everybody knows that we need oxygen from air. Also, if we are talking about having not enough fresh water, we should focus on global warming which is caused by humans again and there are a lot of scientists are considering about it as well. We all know that we need water to live. That is why i am inclined to believe that there are lots of problem which we have to deal with and every matter is important and non of them can be ignoring. On the other hand, some people think that our word is close to end because most of plants and animals are dying. They give examples about the food pyramids. If one particular species is vanished, food chain will be changed in the bad way. For instance, if all chickens are gone now, there will be a lot of insects everywhere and the chains which have parts about insects are break off. They are right about that it is one of the important matters. However, they fail to consider that it is not the only one. We can not save the world if we can have them back. We have more and more serious dangers to our land. As a conclusion, there are two types of idea about environmental problems. Some people thinks that extinction is the main issue and some of them believe that it is not the one particular reason. In my opinion, we have lots of matters to think about our environmental pollutions etc.
We can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that our environment has been going worse day by day. There are two main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that the
first
one is the loss of plants or animals and the other one is that there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. To my mind,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are facing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
even though
humans are the main responsible behind all of them.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
undeniably
true that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. If we are
Did you mean simply "discussing carbon"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussing about carbon
emission, we should focus on air pollution which
is caused
by human beings in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
nuclear energy etc. We can find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of researches to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in the future.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
everybody knows that we need oxygen from air.
Also
, if we are talking about having not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
fresh water, we should focus on global warming which
is caused
by humans again and there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of scientists are
Did you mean simply "considering it"? You do not need the word "about" here.
considering about it
as well
. We all know that we need water to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
That is
why
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am inclined
to believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with and every matter is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and non of them can be ignoring.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that our word is close to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the plants") or simply say "most plants".
most of plants
and animals are dying. They give examples about the food pyramids. If one particular species
is vanished
, food chain will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way.
For instance
, if all chickens
are gone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, there will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of insects everywhere and the chains which have parts about insects are break off. They are right about that it is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matters.
However
, they fail to consider that it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one. We can not save the world if we can have them back. We have more and more serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
to our land. As a conclusion, there are two types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
that extinction is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them believe that it is not the one particular reason. In my opinion, we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of matters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
pollutions etc.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of the particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
373 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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