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Some people say that the government should spent more money taking care of elderly people while others think that the government should spent more on the education of young people.

Some people say that the government should spent more money taking care of elderly people while others think that the government should spent more on the education of young people. k6gln
It is quite a dilemma between the old and young generations. This is due to some people think that the government should focus on taking care of the elderly and make it a priority, while others believe that the most important thing now is to develop the education of the young. In my opinion, both of the above opinions deserve the attention of the state and not only the government but also the duty of each family. First, the government needs to make sure that the elderly get a certain level of health care. They have dedicated their whole lives to serving the country. Moreover, it is thanks to their constant efforts that have helped the country develop as well as it is today. Therefore, they deserve a certain priority health care regime, such as free health check-ups, or discounts in special care services. However, it is not necessary for the government to take full responsibility for the care of the elderly, but families should also play a part in caring for and nurturing them. This is not only an economic issue but also a moral issue in each country. Parents have taken care of their children when they were young, so when they grow up, they have an obligation to repay that kind of nurturing. On the other hand, the needs of the younger generation are just as important as the elderly. Similar to the elderly who are the foundation that built the country, the young generation are the pillars of the country's stronger development in the future, so the government needs to invest in education which can help them progress comprehensively physically as well as knowledge. However, similar to the elderly, the government will not take full responsibility for the health and education of the younger generation. Parents also have a responsibility to educate their children and ensure that they will be morally good citizens and actively build society. In conclusion, whether the old or younger generation, the government also needs to balance in spending to care and develop them, not only the government, parents, children, the community should also share hands with the government to ensure that no one is disadvantaged.
It is quite a dilemma between the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations. This is due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should focus on taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a priority, while others believe that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is to develop the education of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
. In my opinion, both of the above opinions deserve the attention of the state and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the duty of each family.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a certain level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. They have dedicated their whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to serving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, it is thanks to their constant efforts that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
develop
as well
as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Therefore
, they deserve a certain priority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
regime, such as free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-ups, or discounts in special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
services.
However
, it is not necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take full responsibility for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
families should
also
play a part in caring for and nurturing them. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an economic issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a moral issue in each
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country
. Parents have taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their children when they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when they grow up, they have an obligation to repay that kind of nurturing.

On the other hand
, the
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needs
of the younger generation are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
. Similar to the
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elderly
who are the foundation that built the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation are the pillars of the country's stronger development in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to invest in education which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them progress
comprehensively
physically
as well
as knowledge.
However
, similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will not take full responsibility for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and education of the younger generation. Parents
also
have a responsibility to educate their children and ensure that they will be
morally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens and
actively
build society.

In conclusion
, whether the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or younger generation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to balance in spending to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and develop them, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, parents, children, the community should
also
share hands with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to ensure that no one
is disadvantaged
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the government should spent more money taking care of elderly people while others think that the government should spent more on the education of young people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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